Playing Santa

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 2:06 pm

for board members! If I were rich, here's what I'd getcha!

1. El Vez--several of those doodads to put your cds and dvds in. I figure you live in a 12 bedroom house and cds are stacked floor to ceiling in alphabetical (by artist) order.

2. Selfmademug--a box of colorful wifebeaters so you can show off your scar. Wear the motorcycle boots and nobody will screw with you!

3. Oily Slick--a dvd of "It's a Wonderful Life"--pay special attention to the christening of Martini's abode.

4. Cosmos--my undying gratitude. And a case of Black Jack. And some friends who are willing to hear the other side's story (and you've already got that here so this really is a cheap gift!)

5. Spooks--something to wear (or not) on your next anniversary.

6. Dr. Spooks--see above.

7. Miss Buenos Aires--a Dispos-A-Boy, the perfect boyfriend, there when you need him, stuffed in a closet when you don't. That and a really good English dictionary.

8. So Lacklustre--nothing til July!

I always thought I could be a really great artist if 1) I had some talent and b) I knew when to quit. Which is to say, I'm not done with this list yet--so mind yer manners!

and p.s. thanks for letting me hang with the cool kids!

miss buenos aires · Post by **miss buenos aires** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 2:29 pm

Oh, mood, thank you! My last Dispos-A-Boy is getting a little ragged around the edges. (What was I thinking, dating a 22-year-old?) But it looks like Santa might be especially generous this year, and I might just find a Perma-Boy under the tree...Anything is possible...

And for you: a trip to Europe, and a Swiss watch.

Post by **spooky girlfriend** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 2:50 pm

I suppose this sounds corny, but I would love to buy presents for many of you. I have daily contact with you, which is more than I can say for my relatives. I've been fortunate to meet some of you, still trying to meet some of you, and lucky enough to have many who have never met me keep check on me and offer a kind word to me when I might be down.

For my Christmas present for you all, if I could, I would cook a huge buffet of the foods and hors'doeuvers that are my best dishes (vegetarian ones included so as not to leave anyone out), and I would invite each of you over for a big EC board party. We would all raid my liquor cabinet, play music, and party like teenagers whose parents had left them in the house alone. Plenty of room for everyone!

so lacklustre · Post by **so lacklustre** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 3:49 pm

Thanks mood I always like something to look forward to!

Nice words Spooky, food is great to get as a present, and the photo's of your spreads have always looked scrumptious!

A rope leash · Post by **A rope leash** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 3:58 pm

Dear Editor,

I hate to disturb the giving, but Miss BA's objectification of men is demeaning to us all. How awful it is that she can cast one aside when his duty is drained, all the while spying her next victim, knowing full well that all of us wannabeher victim, and then invoking her vile wishes upon a Santa who is very busy with at this time with the needs of good children.

Sarcastically non-judgementally yours,

A rope leash

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 4:15 pm

more gift giving!

for the Footy Fans--socks and Odor Eaters!

for the lovely Poppet--Giles. On a tray.

for A rope leash--what to get the guy who's got everything? a sack of coal! Not 'cos you've been naughty (at least not any worse than usual), but because you just can't have a battle of wits with an unarmed man or woman. Sometimes you just gotta Ernest T. Bass it. Chunk one for me!

for Less Than Zero--a Red Ryder BB gun.

for BlueChair--a set of Ginsu knives! no, really! They are fabulous!

for Goody2Shoes--an Amazon gift certificate for Christmas music, and permission to break the Christmas Music Rule.

for laughingcrow--bird food. seriously, everybody outside right now and fill up those feeders!

and I'm still not done. How does the real Santa do it all?

oily slick · Post by **oily slick** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 4:35 pm

keep goin girl, i'm dying to see what cope gets. and i'm prayin its not to find out if you're really a blond.

PlaythingOrPet · Post by **PlaythingOrPet** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 4:50 pm

I'd give Poppet a selection of the finest cheeses so she could use Giles as a human cracker. Maybe she'll let us share?

A rope leash · Post by **A rope leash** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 4:56 pm

Like I've always said, a sack of coal is way better than a sack of runny shit, but never underestimate what can be done with a sack of runny shit, either!

Poppet · Post by **Poppet** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 4:58 pm

I can't eat cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (lactose intolerant)

oh bunny, you are so cruel!

*sniff*

- off to class, to have the instructor tell me what a slacker i am for not having three complete drawings, when most everyone else has 4 or more. whatever. oh, and maybe he'll tell me to not show up thursday? i could only be so lucky. i'd show anyway.

cya.

laughingcrow · Post by **laughingcrow** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 6:52 pm

I'd just get everyone socks...you know those ones with the grips on he feet that come in the garrish colours, that you'd only wear if noone was looking....well, happy christmas, it's the thought that counts!

PS..cheers for the birdfood Moody (caws approval)

LessThanZero · Post by **LessThanZero** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 9:28 pm

mood swung wrote:for Less Than Zero--a Red Ryder BB gun.

MOOD, you just want me to shoot my eye out!!

Well, you know what some hicks around here think Jesus said about "Eye for an eye"...

Yikes. ANYWAY,

Mood, for you, a nice big cross for your Tennesee cave....YOU'LL MAKE TONS ON WEDDINGS!!$$$$$$$$

oops, I dont' want to impose....how about a football??

A FOOTBALL?@?!??!?

For selfmade: On your deathbed, you will receive TOTAL consciousness. So you've got that going for you. which is nice. OH, and mail in the coupon for a hefty rebate.

SPOOKY: All of my elvis love.

DR: A night out with the boys.

JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who wants to come to an Elvis holiday party? If you can make the trip, I would love to buy a round. Wouldn't it be great to sit around with a bunch of these people, listen to elvis, talk sh!t in person, and have a GREAT time!!! Let's have it at Blue's!! He's the moderator!

I wish you all lots of snowflake love. Merry Christmas and all of those other lesser holidays. THAT'S A GOOD JOKE RIGHT!? YOU ALL KNOW I'M KIDDING! Man, I hope this is coming across as Rope-like humor...I'm not an ass or anything. Just trying to be clever. Like Randy Newman. I'll stop trying now.

peace and love and warmth and more peace and friendship and familiness to all of you! love you so much!

ltz

PlaythingOrPet · Post by **PlaythingOrPet** » Wed Dec 17, 2003 6:36 am

Poppet, I didn't know! I would never be that cruel.

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Wed Dec 17, 2003 10:44 am

thanks, crow for the sox! I'll take mine in peach or teal or Big Orange! and thanks, LTZ for the cross. It'll look swell next to my black velvet painting of Elvis.

I'm sorry about this, but I really can't seem to quit the cyber-giving!

For Bobster, my cyber-crush, a Roger Ebert voodoo doll. And all the gold in California. Even if it’s in a bank in the middle of Beverly Hills in somebody else’s name.

For Misha—whatever you need to do the intervention for Bobster! Pat Buchanan, indeed! And a week at a spa to wash the stench off when you’re done.

For Tim(e)—it’s not really for you, but for your beautiful kidlets—A Reptar wagon. It’s kind of like Godzilla, only Rugrats.

For Jackson Monk Doofsteropolis—a case of strawberry L’oreal. Keep them beautiful girrrrrls smelling sweet.

Martinfoyle and johnfoyle—separate identities.

And some Whiskas.

Noise and Lipstick—nada. You’ll always have Venice.

SoLikeCandy and Double Dutchess—plane tickets to the UK. Happy hunting!

The one, the only Mr. Westinghouse—some of those David Bowie bonds (or futures?) and lifetime DB internet service! Also a new hat.

Sulkygirl—this is for me, too—a new Nick Lowe album! I heard an internet rumor that he’s recorded 3 songs, so we can look for this, oh, about august 2006.

edited cos I forgot my smilie.

Goody2Shoes · Post by **Goody2Shoes** » Wed Dec 17, 2003 11:35 am

Awww, thanks, Ms. Mood, that's nice. However, the Rule must stand, as even I, Christmas junkie that I am, would quickly tire of it. And I would probably have to find a new Man Of The House, for even as indulgent as he is, he would also quickly tire....

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 8:58 am

the giving continues.

for DrJ--I figure the world is your oyster right now, but what you really need is a week or two or three here in the Smokies doctoring my children. I'm four for four with the flu (2 different kinds!). I thought about irradiating them as they come in the door, but I'm afraid of mutant grandkids. Come on over! And bring drugs!

for taz--more of my undying gratitude for keeping this site going, and another road trip to write up for us! oh, and a big big spree at Amazon!

for PoP--some of those piss colored lenses for your camera, and some rose colored ones as well.

for HungupStrungup--Heckle and Jeckle dvds.

for whtesde--more undying gratitude. and some vowels!

and I'm still thinking. If my kids keep waking me up at 3 a.m., I should be finished by christmas.

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 4:28 pm

Ok, I think this should just about finish my shopping…

Verbal G—a holster for that mouth (or typing finger) of yours. Dude, you crack me up! Seriously, I’ve had to institute a No Eating While Reading VG’s Posts rule.

Gilli—tomatoes. Not rotten ones, good Grainger county ‘uns. And your very own Tower of Song.

Pip_52—a tea dock to call your own.

Bambooneedle—some toe tappers and knee slappers. A special filter to get rid of all those annoying and redundant quotations.

IstandAccused—a hand. As in ‘talk to the hand….’

Elfslut—a trip to Oz so you can ask the Wizard for a brain. You don’t shit where you live, sweetie.

Cope Fan—an extra large box of discretion. And a Rolling Stones record.

If I pissed anybody off, with the exception of two, I’m sorry.

And that makes a day for me!

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 4:40 pm

Thank you moody, but I've already been given one of those quotation filters for Christmass, courtesy of Elfslut!

double dutchess · Post by **double dutchess** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 7:29 pm

Thank you, Moody! How sweet of you to think of all of us.

For you: A gift certificate at a luxury day spa, for a massage, facial, manicure, and pedicure. You deserve it after taking care of sick kids.

Hope they all get better soon!

Gillibeanz · Post by **Gillibeanz** » Fri Dec 19, 2003 2:53 am

MOODS: Thats funny! Top of my tower song will be dear old Rolf Harris!And you dont know just how spot on you were - I adore tomatoes and eat a family pack a week! I was going to give you a crystal ball for your xmas present but you obviously dont need it!!

pip_52 · Post by **pip_52** » Fri Dec 19, 2003 10:41 am

Thanks Moody! I always wanted my very own tea dock . . . I think.

Post by **BlueChair** » Fri Dec 19, 2003 12:39 pm

Ooh, knives. I'll cut some vegetables.

whtesde · Post by **whtesde** » Fri Dec 19, 2003 12:51 pm

Yay, vowels! *hoards*

miss buenos aires · Post by **miss buenos aires** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:34 pm

Santa came early this year...I've already unwrapped a present...

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:42 pm

MBA: DETAILS. I NEED DETAILS.

Elvis Costello Fan Forum

Playing Santa

Playing Santa

Appalling!

mmmmm...cracker...