We is talking bad bad lyrics....

Otis Westinghouse · Post by **Otis Westinghouse** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 6:57 pm

Young Paul thought replacing an object pronoun with a subject pron was, like, poetic. He was wrong.

Alexv: don't get you here at all re 'becoming'. It's a pretty clear line to me. It's dark under a table, he would look rather fetching there. What's the prob? (No need to answer!) You cited the same Macca line I did!

Anjabro: sacrilege! Edwyn is a comic genius. Those words are fabulous in context, both funny and very singable. It's rightly kept the mighty Edwyn in business in recent years.

selfmademug · Post by **selfmademug** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 7:31 pm

alexv wrote: SMM: I see your point about poetic license and evocativeness of imagery, but given our boy's genius I just found them unnecessarily arch.

Well, I think Hopkins was more of a genius than our boy is (much as I love him) and I didn't find the "poetic license and evocativeness of imagery" in Hopkins to be unneccesarily arch. Or is it the other way round and what I've said just proves your point?-- you've sort of lost me there frankly.

But hey, peace out dude.

ReadyToHearTheWorst · Post by **ReadyToHearTheWorst** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 7:36 pm

... and this was a hit:

"Life", by Des'ree

I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
When there's no one else around
Oh I get the shivers
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news

anjabro · Post by **anjabro** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 12:04 am

Otis Westinghouse wrote:
Anjabro: sacrilege! Edwyn is a comic genius. Those words are fabulous in context, both funny and very singable. It's rightly kept the mighty Edwyn in business in recent years.

Well, I'm not familiar with any of his other work, but if those lyrics are meant to be funny, or ironic, then it's a little too deadpan for me...

( Sacrilege...? Is this just because he's an EC..? )

bobster · Post by **bobster** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:42 am

Two for the hall of immortals...

In the year 2525
If man is still alive
If woman can survive
They may thrive
In the year 3535
Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies
Everything you think, do, and say
Is in the pill you took today

In the year 4545
Ain't gonna need your teeth, won't need your eyes
You won't find a thing to chew
Nobody's gonna look at you

In the year 5555
Your arms are hanging limp at your sides
Your legs got nothing to do
Some machine is doing that for you

In the year 6565
Ain't gonna need no husband, won't need no wife
You'll pick your son, pick your daughter too
From the bottom of a long glass tube' Whoooa

In the year 7510
If God's a-comin' he ought to make it by then
Maybe he'll look around himself and say
Guess it's time for the Judgement day

In the year 8510
God is gonna shake his mighty head then
He'll either say I'm pleased where man has been
Or tear it down and start again

In the year 9595
I'm kinda wondering if man is gonna be alive
He's taken everything this old earth can give
And he ain't put back nothing

Now it's been 10,000 years
Man has cried a billion tears
For what he never knew
Now man's reign is through
But through eternal night
The twinkling of starlight
So very far away
Maybe it's only yesterday

In the year 2525
If man is still alive
If woman can survive
They may thrive
In the year 3535
Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies
Everything you think, do or say
Is in the pill you took today ....(fading...)

**********************

Long long ago in a land far away
A little boy and a girl were so in love
Standing 'neath the moon above

He said, 'Me Japanese boy, I love you, I do love you
You Japanese girl, you love me please say you do'

They carved their names on a cherry tree
Just like they've done in Japan since time began
Then he gently held her hand

He said, 'Me Japanese boy, I love you, I do love you
You Japanese girl, you love me please say you do'

In a blue and white kimono
She became his happy bride
From that day until this very moment
She'd been standing by his side

Now they are old and from what I am told
They're still in love just as much as they once were
Every night he kissed her

He said, 'Me Japanese boy, I love you, I do love you'
That is the way that it should be when love is true
That is the way that it should be for me and you

Otis Westinghouse · Post by **Otis Westinghouse** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:51 am

By whom? Neither are familiar.

anjabro wrote:( Sacrilege...? Is this just because he's an EC..? )

No, because early Orange Juice is part of the Holy Grail of the best music ever. Check out 'The Glasgow School', compilation of the year.

martinfoyle · Post by **martinfoyle** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 4:49 am

Otis Westinghouse wrote:By whom? Neither are familiar.

The first one was by Zager & Evans, the 2nd by Bobby Goldsboro. Knew the first one, had to google the 2nd, hard to believe old Bobby did something worse than the 'Summer The 1st Time'.

verbal gymnastics · Post by **verbal gymnastics** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 5:31 am

I think Ready's is the best of the worst so far.

Mind you there are some fine cringeworthy efforts.

Chrille · Post by **Chrille** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 5:56 am

Urgh, Life. It's probably the only song that made me think "those are probably the worst lyrics I've ever heard" when I heard those lines, even the first time. That and any Nickelback lyrics.

King Hoarse · Post by **King Hoarse** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 6:04 am

Mercyful Fate samples I've quoted before:

Upon a cross a nun shall be hanged
She will be raped by an evil man

(I'm sure the rape would be more convenient BEFORE the crucifiction)

Hear the bell
A sound from hell
The demon bell
Is it Satan's call?
No, it's Satan's fall

ReadyToHearTheWorst · Post by **ReadyToHearTheWorst** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 7:41 am

Jeepster, by Marc Bolan & T Rex

You're so sweet
You're so fine
I want you all and everything
Just to be mine

'Cos you're my baby
'Cos you're my love
Girl I'm just a Jeepster
For you love

You slide so good
With bones so fair
You've got the universe
Reclining in your hair

Just like a car
You're pleasing to behold
I'll call you Jaguar
If I may be so bold

The wild winds blow
Upon your frozen cheeks
The way you flip your hip
It always makes me weak

Your motivation
Is so sweet
Your vibrations
Are burning up my feet

Girl I'm just a jeepster
For your love
Girl I'm just a vampire
For your love

I'm gonna suck you.

But I always smile when I hear it.

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 7:54 am

I thought Mr. Slick would post this, but he's off hang gliding or biking his way to the Smokies or something. Anyway, the one that always makes me shake my head and think 'moron' is Little Johnny Mellencamp's -

No, I cannot forget from where it is that I come from

I can get past the two froms, but, jesus, he has to work harder to get that all out and it just doesn't flow at all.

Mike Boom · Post by **Mike Boom** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 9:50 am

Emerson Lake and Palmer - Not sure who the...errr..."lyricist" was , but I dont think a band has ever been so consistantly cringe inducing lyrically -

Jeremy Bender

Jeremy bender was a man of leisure took his pleasure in the evening sun
Laid him down in a bed of roses, finally decided to become a nun.

Talk with the sister, spoke in a whisper, threatened to fist her if she
Didn’t come clean
Jumped on the mother just like a brother asked one another if the other is a queen.

Diggin’ the sister she was a mister shouldn’t have kissed her, but he
Couldn’t say no
Wanted to leave her couldn’t believe her, so he picked up his suit-case and
Decided to go.

Still ...You Turn Me On

Do you want to be an angel,
Do you want to be a star,
Do you want to play some magic on my guitar?
Do you want to be a poet,
Do you want to be my string?
You could be anything.
Do you want to be the lover of another
Undercover? you could even be the man on the moon.

Do you want to be the player,
Do you want to be the string?
Let me just tell you something,
It just don’t mean a thing.
You see it really doesn’t matter
When you’re buried in disguise
By the dark glass on your eyes,
Though your flesh has crystalised;
Still .... you turn me on.

Do you want to be the pillow where I lay my head,
Do you want to be the feathers lying in my bed?
Do you want to be a colour cover magazine;
Create a scene.
Every day a little sadder,
A little madder,
Someone get me a ladder.

Do you want to be the singer,
Do you want to be the song?
Let me tell you something
You just couldn’t be more wrong.
You see I really have to tell you
That it all gets so intense.
from my experience
It just doesn’t seem to make sense,
Still .... you turn me on.

Endless Enigma

Each part was played
Though the play was not shown
Everyone came
But they all sat alone

The dawn opened the play
Waking the day
Causing a silent hooray
The dawn will break another day

Now that it’s done
Are we going to see the reason why I’m here

..and Lou Reed has been responsible for a good few howlers in his time

Animal Language

Miss Riley had a dog
She used to keep it in her back yard
And when the dog began to bark
All the neighbours began to shout
Then came a stormy night, Miss Riley let her dog out
And when the neighbours found him 'round
They put a gun down his mouth and shot him down
And he went: oooh wow, bow wow, oooh wow, bow wow

Miss Murphy had a cat, on her lap it sat
And once in a great big while
And once in a great big while
It looked like that Cheshire cat did smile
But one day it got so hot
That Cheshire cat had a blood clot
And she said: oooh meow meow, oooh meow meow

Then the dog met the cat
The dog was hot and the cat was met
Then came some sweaty dude
He put a board between the two
Then they couldn't get at it, got frustrated all about it
So they did the only thing you could do
They took the dude's sweat and shot it up between the two
And they said: oooh wow, bow wow meow, oooh wow, bow wow meow

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 10:10 am

Bruce - Bobby Jean

"Now we went walking in the rain talking about the pain from the world we hid
Now there ain't nobody nowhere nohow gonna ever understand me the way you did"

But somehow it works.

LittleFoole · Post by **LittleFoole** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 12:51 pm

mood swung wrote: when the world and its wife work you over
and the stormy clouds chase all around
and he's gone the one you said was certain
I will BE YOUR LUCKY DOG.

or

who in the world are you pretty baby?
where in the world did you spring up from?
why in the world are you so contag-y?
how do I get what I got to get gone?

but somehow he makes it work.

Definitely !!!! Hmmmm, now have the urge to go digging into my old cassete collection.... Nick is/was underappreciated here, stateside

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 12:56 pm

as the charter member of the East Tennessee Nick Lowe Appreciation Society, I'm recommending you check out this

http://cgi.ebay.com/Nick-Lowe-12-CDs-LO ... dZViewItem

I'd be all over it, but I have them all but one.

bobster · Post by **bobster** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 12:59 pm

martinfoyle wrote:
Otis Westinghouse wrote:By whom? Neither are familiar.
The first one was by Zager & Evans, the 2nd by Bobby Goldsboro. Knew the first one, had to google the 2nd, hard to believe old Bobby did something worse than the 'Summer The 1st Time'.

Bobby Goldsboro recorded "Me Japanese Boy" but it was written by none other than Hal David and Burt Bacharach. (Burt's music is actually gorgeous.)

Jackson Monk · Post by **Jackson Monk** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 1:37 pm

On the subject of EC's worst lyrical moments, it strikes me as strange that one of his best songs (When it Sings) also contains two iffy little couplets. It astonishes me that he tried to rhyme 'Prism' and 'what isn't', as well as 'Fracture' and 'Statue'.

I'll forgive him though for the beautiful tune.

Bad Ambassador · Post by **Bad Ambassador** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 1:41 pm

That pillock Blunt...

My life is brilliant.
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

I particularly despise the repeated 'My life is brilliant' from the start. It only serves to emphasise how his voice sounds like a constipated bloke with a peg on his nose taking a seat upon a washing machine on full-spin.

verena · Post by **verena** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 1:44 pm

Well this may be a "Worst Of" but it brings out the "Best of You" guys.

This is a place for Mister Misery, he ought to come back asap. Hey, lighten up, you may find a home here...

oily slick · Post by **oily slick** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:49 pm

mood swung wrote:I thought Mr. Slick would post this, but he's off hang gliding or biking his way to the Smokies or something. Anyway, the one that always makes me shake my head and think 'moron' is Little Johnny Mellencamp's -

No, I cannot forget from where it is that I come from

I can get past the two froms, but, jesus, he has to work harder to get that all out and it just doesn't flow at all.

i was dammit. it's my favorite. i can be myself here in this small town.

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 3:30 pm

well, of course you can, sweetie.

Otis Westinghouse · Post by **Otis Westinghouse** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 6:16 pm

ReadyToHearTheWorst wrote:Jeepster, by Marc Bolan & T Rex

Well it was sacrilege enough to see the glorious Edwyn erroneously listed here, but you simply can't expect to get away with putting Jeepster in. Brilliant words from start to finish. 'You've got the universe reclining in your hair.' Sheer poetry. And the Jaguar line is a a hoot. Can we start a lyrical genius thread and include this?

King Hoarse · Post by **King Hoarse** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 6:20 pm

mood swung wrote:as the charter member of the East Tennessee Nick Lowe Appreciation Society, I'm recommending you check out this

http://cgi.ebay.com/Nick-Lowe-12-CDs-LO ... dZViewItem

I'd be all over it, but I have them all but one.

Thanks so much for the tip! I just went through the hassle of getting membership etc. and made my first eBay bid for this. If someone don't barge in at the last minute and bid above me (I'm touring Finland this weekend!) I can give my old burned copies away to friends and family. Yay!

Otis Westinghouse · Post by **Otis Westinghouse** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 6:23 pm

King Hoarse wrote:I'm touring Finland this weekend!

All of it? In one weekend?

(I'm just jealous.)