I'm So Tired. . . . .

Post by **spooky girlfriend** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:23 am

of burying people I love because of cancer.

Tonight I will attend a wake for the second neighbor in less than two months to have died from lung cancer. Mary Lu lived was in her early 60s and lived across the street from me for the last five years. She has been better to me than most of the family I have and was like a grandmother to my children. She knew all about plants and foliage. She would tell me about the wild plants growing on my property and what was useful to keep and what I could mow over. She always paid the kids handsomely for feeding her cat or watering the plants while she was out of town. She even bothered to bring us back a box of candy when she went to Turkey a couple of years ago.

Mary Lu died from lung cancer. She never smoked a day in her life nor did she live with anyone who smoked. She was in remission from breast cancer that ended up spreading to her lungs. As much as she loved flowers, I won't send them to her service tomorrow. I will make a donation to the American Cancer Society in her memory in hopes that one day this damn disease will stop killing people that we all love.

Sorry. Just had to vent. I was just tired of crying and thought maybe sharing it with you guys would help. I think I'll go out in the yard to work today - something Mary Lu loved to do but had to quit doing months ago because she was so frail - and I'll think of her and all that she taught me about landscaping and life and other stuff.

RedShoes · Post by **RedShoes** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:59 am

I'm so, so sorry to hear this, Spooky.

Far too many people have been touched by cancer - in fact I'd say it's likely impossible to find anyone who doesn't know someone.

Emotional Toothpaste · Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:54 pm

Sorry to hear that Spooky.

My mother died of lung cancer 7 years ago, she was 58, never smoked, my Dad didn't smoke either . . and she lived a very active and healthy lifestyle. It was a complete shock to all of us. She was diagnosed 2 days before Christmas in '98. She passed away just 10 days later. I have 8 brothers and sisters and I know there hasn't been a day thats gone by in the last 7 years where each of us has not thought of her. I look at my 3 small kids now and it tears me up that they will never know what a wonderful grandmother they had.

Prayers to you.

legman open to offers · Tue Feb 28, 2006 1:32 pm

Sorry for the losses Spooky, and also to you ET.

Tim(e) · Post by **Tim(e)** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 5:48 pm

Spooky... I know exactly how you feel. The pain will pass but hopefully all of the wonderful memories you have of this person won't.

I lost both parents to the dreaded Jimmy Dancer; both smoked heavily for a large part of their respective lives, one ended up with liver cancer of all things, and the other with emphysema. One of my biggest regrets is that they never met my wife and therefore never knew their grandchildren (and vice-versa).

I too have a friend who is laid low with inoperable cancer and it looks like it may be just a matter of time... can only hope that he makes some sort of miraculous recovery.

Unfortunately, cancer is one of those illnesses that probably affects just about every board member (or will at some time in their lives) in that we will either be afflicted with it ourselves or be close to someone who is. Giving to research is a very worthwhile exercise IMHO.

pophead2k · Post by **pophead2k** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 7:53 pm

Spooky, you know my experiences with this. Thoughts and prayers.

Extreme Honey · Post by **Extreme Honey** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 1:02 am

Yeah I quit smoking today. I hope it's going to last.

bobster · Post by **bobster** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 1:37 am

Spooky -- very sorry to hear about all this. I don't know what to say, but it's clear to me that ife is one terribly unfair gifthorse.

Post by **spooky girlfriend** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 9:36 am

Thanks so much for all your thoughts, guys. I knew I could dump on all of you.

After talking to her husband, her choices for charity were the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation and our local botanical gardens where she was a volunteer. I think we will contribute to both in her name.

This is just especially hard since this is the same week my brother was buried 4 years ago. I appreciate all your support. You guys are great.

Extreme Honey - please quit your damn smoking. For your own good.

Extreme Honey · Post by **Extreme Honey** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 5:05 pm

Thanks Spooky. I've hated smoking ever since I got into it. I was 13 when I had my first cigarette and 15 when I had my first pack. It wasn't long before i got hooked. And today was a really hard day. I couldn't stand looking at all of my colleagues smoking downtown. Today's been really hard for me, trying not to smoke and coping with the loss of my girlfriend.

I wish all tobacco companies would go to hell for making me addicted to this shit AND for causing thousands of deaths all around the world. They're worse than republicans.

Who Shot Sam? · Post by **Who Shot Sam?** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 5:09 pm

Extreme Honey wrote:They're worse than republicans.

Most of them ARE Republicans.

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 9:40 pm

Extreme Honey wrote:Yeah I quit smoking today. I hope it's going to last.

Me too. I threw away half a pack of Nat Sherman's last night. What I used to do every now and then was becoming a several times a day habit. So that's it. No more, not ever. Good luck to you, EH. Good for you for taking the plunge, too.

In all fairness, it should be pointed out that the tobacco companies are in the pockets of the Democrats just as deeply as the GOP. In fact, until the Reagan revolution, all those southern tobacco states were solidly Democrat. The fact is that those bastards have tons of money and that politicians from both parties are more than happy to take it. There's no other way to explain why cigarettes are legal.

Post by **BlueChair** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 9:59 pm

I've considered myself an anti-smoking activist for quite some time. A few of my friends who are smokers get really, really angry at me for blatantly saying "smoking is ridiculous."

To me, the fact that people still smoke... FORTY YEARS after the surgeon general said "Yeah, smoking will kill you"... is ridiculous. There's a reason a growing number of cities, states/provinces, and countries have adopted smoking bans.

Good on you for those of you who have quit... you have spared your loved ones and the environment a lot of misery.

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 10:03 pm

No, you're right. It's ridiculous. Except right when you're smoking, during which time the nicotine fools you into thinking you're a complete f-ing genius. I'm not arguing with you, but it's an addiction, like any other, and I have a lot of sympathy for anyone trying to get free from anything they're jonesing for.

Who Shot Sam? · Post by **Who Shot Sam?** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 10:04 pm

noiseradio wrote:In all fairness, it should be pointed out that the tobacco companies are in the pockets of the Democrats just as deeply as the GOP. In fact, until the Reagan revolution, all those southern tobacco states were solidly Democrat.

I said "most". And there ain't many elected Dems left in the South.

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 10:07 pm

You did say most, but it's a cheap shot at an easy target. All of Congress is responsible. You don't see the dems putting out any anti-tobacco legislation, do you?

Who Shot Sam? · Post by **Who Shot Sam?** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 10:09 pm

noiseradio wrote:You did say most, but it's a cheap shot at an easy target. All of Congress is responsible. You don't see the dems putting out any anti-tobacco legislation, do you?

I edited my post to say "elected" Dems. I realize that there are plenty of Democratic voters in the South. I agree that both parties are responsible for the current state of affairs. I just think that if you looked right now at the politicians getting the most money from big tobacco, most of them would be Republicans. If the Dems were in power it would probably be the other way around. The whole system stinks.

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 10:52 pm

That's all I was trying to say. In the 60's and 70s, when the Dems ran the south, they got the most money from Big T. Now the GOP runs the south, and they probably get the most money from Big T. Big T is the devil, and the people who take his money are political whores. Which is pretty much all of them.

I'm going to go watch the Insider to make myself feel like quitting smoking is more than justa good idea for my health.

Who Shot Sam? · Post by **Who Shot Sam?** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 11:45 pm

noiseradio wrote:That's all I was trying to say. In the 60's and 70s, when the Dems ran the south, they got the most money from Big T. Now the GOP runs the south, and they probably get the most money from Big T. Big T is the devil, and the people who take his money are political whores. Which is pretty much all of them.

I'm going to go watch the Insider to make myself feel like quitting smoking is more than justa good idea for my health.

It's gonna be tough for a few weeks. I smoked for three years before I quit. Hang in there. You'll feel like a new man once you've kicked the habit for good.

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 12:48 am

Thanks for the warning. I'm sure it will be tough. But even just today I feel better than I did yesterday. Not breathing smoke into your lungs is just a really good idea. There's no turning back now.

SweetPear · Post by **SweetPear** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 3:00 am

Spooky I'm sorry to hear of your bad news. Lately, everywhere you turn, someone you know pops up with cancer. It's alarming to me, the level of how this disease has spread. Me included. We have to do all we can for ourselves and our loved ones to keep on top of what's going on. Don't just give in and take it as a death sentence.

I had an elderly neighbor next door to us back where we used to live when my kids wereall small. She taught us all kinds of stuff and the kids loved her stories and little projects she did with them....all simple stuff, stuff about living simply and enjoying all you have.
She had breast cancer and chose to not treat it, possibly out of fear, she never said. But she knew she was dying and she prepared all her belongings and told us that if we ever saw her front door wide open, we should just come in because she was probably either dying or dead.
Well, I found her laying face down right by the front door. It was a bright, sunny summer day. It was so sad to find her that way. We missed her a lot and we remember her to this day......Dorothy.

I hope you gey over your grief, Spooky, and take joy from all the things that Mary Lu did with you and for you. It's a good thing.

Take care.....

Gillibeanz · Post by **Gillibeanz** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 6:58 am

SPOOKY: Im sorry to hear your news - my thoughts are with you.

HONEY: Keep up the good work - if my Dad can give up smoking at 70 and my mum at 72 then anyone can!!

Post by **spooky girlfriend** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 8:01 am

First of all, good to see you again, Gilli!!

Thanks Sweet Pear. I hope you are doing well. You know first hand what a bitch cancer can be. You're a strong gal and I admire you for what you've been through.

Noise - I didn't even know you smoked! I know your kids would want you around for a long time - good idea to quit while you're young. Doc's dad died at 60 and he still had so much to give to others - if only he hadn't smoked. His funeral was like standing room only. I'm glad that you quit. You can always vent here if you get a craving. . . .

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 11:06 am

spooky girlfriend wrote:
Noise - I didn't even know you smoked!

It's not something I was especially proud of.

Post by **spooky girlfriend** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 12:18 pm

But you can be proud of quitting.