Tower of Celebrity Shame

Post by **BlueChair** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:33 am

Out: Oprah (I don't like her, but she's a pretty brilliant and successful woman - nothing shameful about that)
In: Larry "I know nothing about the people I interview" King

1. John Cusack
2. Michael Jackson
3. Paula Abdul
4. Larry King
5. Tom Sizemore
6. Steve Martin
7. Sean Young
8. John Travolta
9. Mike Tyson
10. OJ Simpson

Who Shot Sam? · Post by **Who Shot Sam?** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:39 am

Out: Cusack ("Being John Malkovich" wasn't that long ago, was it?)

Staying with the theme of clueless interviewers:

In: Charlie Rose - His show has become sloppy and is now little more than a circle jerk for celebs, politicians, and self-important CEOs. He's also painfully unprepared, which is shameful considering the caliber of his guests. Sometimes I just want to wince at the inelegance of his questions. He's also a shameless ass-licker.

1. Charlie Rose
2. Michael Jackson
3. Paula Abdul
4. Larry King
5. Tom Sizemore
6. Steve Martin
7. Sean Young
8. John Travolta
9. Mike Tyson
10. OJ Simpson

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:41 am

OUT: Steve Martin
IN: Eugene Levy

1. Charlie Rose
2. Michael Jackson
3. Paula Abdul
4. Larry King
5. Tom Sizemore
6. Eugene Levy
7. Sean Young
8. John Travolta
9. Mike Tyson
10. OJ Simpson

Who Shot Sam? · Post by **Who Shot Sam?** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:42 am

Hey Vez. Put Charlie back in there!

Post by **BlueChair** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:44 am

Eugene Levy is a very strange situation, because in some ways he's made some of the best work of his career over the past ten years (Waiting for Guffman, Best In Show, A Mighty Wind, the forthcoming For Your Consideration), but he's also agreed to appear in the whole American Pie saga and Olsen twins movies.

Boy With A Problem · Post by **Boy With A Problem** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:50 am

I like crazy girls - so Sean's gotta come off - check out her groovy website:

http://www.seanyoung.com/

In - Phil Spector - I think he might be a murderer, or maybe a manslaughterer or something - made some good records in the sixties - completley over the edge now.

1. Charlie Rose
2. Michael Jackson
3. Paula Abdul
4. Larry King
5. Tom Sizemore
6. Phil Spector
7. Eugene Levy
8. John Travolta
9. Mike Tyson
10. OJ Simpson

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:52 am

Who Shot Sam? wrote:Hey Vez. Put Charlie back in there!

Sorry, we posted at the same time!

As far as Eugene Levy goes, it is entirely mean spirited of me to put him in the tower, especially since Steve Martin is a much bigger star who actually has the luxury of being a good deal more selective about his projects and yet chooses to waste his time on a lot of junk so that he can buy very expensive art. Levy is the definition of working actor, much like Fred Willard, and so you're gonna see him in films both sublime and ridiculous. But his recent run of abysmal shit like Dumb and Dumberer, Band Camp and The Man just irks me for some reason because I think he's a terrific actor who might not be getting Nicholson or Pacino's hand me downs but he HAS to have at least a decent number of scripts (some of which HAVE to be better than what he's doing) and he consistently shows terrible taste in anything without Christopher Guest's name on it.

miss buenos aires · Post by **miss buenos aires** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 12:11 pm

Who Shot Sam? wrote:Out: Cusack ("Being John Malkovich" wasn't that long ago, was it?)

Oh yes it was! It came out in 1999! Last century!

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 12:25 pm

I notice that all these celebrities are North American... is this a coincidence, or what?

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 12:30 pm

bambooneedle wrote:I notice that all these celebrities are North American... is this a coincidence, or what?

Nah, it's just that nobody gives a rat's ass about Manu Chao.

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 12:34 pm

Just saying... no Europeans, no Aaazzies... I wonder why...?

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 12:38 pm

Isn't it obvious.....only North America can produce embarrassing celebrities. Well, Bryan Brown excepted.

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 12:44 pm

Or only embarrassing North American celebrities might "matter" enough in the world.

This wouldn't be half as funny if it happened to any British or Australian celebrity:

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 12:47 pm

bambooneedle wrote:Or only embarrassing North American celebrities might "matter" enough in the world.

This wouldn't be half as funny if it happened to any British or Australian celebrity:

What can I say, we're a jingoistic bunch a bastiches. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go masturbate into my leatherbound, autographed copy of The Savage Nation while listening to an mp3 of The Minutemen Barbershop Quartet singing that beloved old chestnut, Why Do They All Smell So Funny?

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 3:11 pm

You're just so over-the-top funny, El Vez.

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 3:15 pm

bambooneedle wrote:You're just so over-the-top funny, El Vez.

And you are a swarthy and prickly drywaller whose clawhammer banjo technique is lacking in texture.

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 4:20 pm

I'm not so swarthy. I seen you, you look like a gorilla. But your extra-ironic-to-protect-against-possible-unfunniness, soooo knowing, parged-up punchlines, are seriously soporific. That was very poetic, though.

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 6:09 pm

bambooneedle wrote:I'm not so swarthy. I seen you, you look like a gorilla. But your extra-ironic-to-protect-against-possible-unfunniness, soooo knowing, parged-up punchlines, are seriously soporific. That was very poetic, though.

Soporific is a very interesting word. Its origins lie with the Greeks (but then what doesn't?) and it's difficult to translate exactly but, basically, it's derived from a term meaning "I spend an awful lot of time on google looking shit up because I need a wordy comeback to prove that I'm smarter than the average bear."

Of course, that is an imperfect translation....

oldhamer · Post by **oldhamer** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 10:06 pm

Actually, it means sleep inducing, if you don't mind me touching up your imperfect translation a tad.

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:42 pm

Hey Vezzoid, a note about your "drywaller" slur. So it sits ok with you to make a racial slur quite consciously and do it publicly, does it? Who do you think you are revealing?

I am not ashamed of being of Spanish origin or of working in the building field. Or of how dark my skin is. Try to attack my character by all means, but what a sad, tawdry ignoramus you must be to think that a racial slur, with whatever else it's supposed to imply, will really reveal ME, let alone hurt me.

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:44 pm

Dude, you totally need to learn how to play Snaps!

I mean, I am a very, very easy target and not that I'm saying go for the jugular like I am with the example that I'm about to lay out but you could have followed up with something like "Yeah, that's nice El Vez. Did everyone hear know that Mr. Vez is now in the movie biz? Yeah, he produced Casa De Los Babys." Now, for anyone who knows me personally (and there are a few on this board) that would have been a milk-out-the-nose spewin' laugh riot.

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:49 pm

But it's not just about my own personal reaction when you make racial slurs.. don't you get it? Luis Guzman would kick your ass.

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:50 pm

I didn't make a racial slur but I will say that I think you're off your meds if you interpreted anything I wrote as being a racial slur.

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:52 pm

Bullshit.

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:03 pm