Tower of Celebrity Shame

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 10:59 pm

Celebrities who are a complete embarrasment and well beyond any hope of face-saving. The idea is that they are currently complete sellouts who just phone it in now or that their they've done such horrible things that they've outlived their usefulness and become a self-parody in some way. One stipulation: these have to be bonafide celebrities and they have to have been worthy at some point in their career. Obviously, that will be somewhat subjective. But if no one knows who the hell you're talking about and/or if they're best work is shameful already (I'm looking at you, David Hasselhoff), I reserve the right to void your change. You're limited to three changes. Deadline is Feb. 28/March 1 at midnight. Them's the rules.

1. Tom Cruise
2. Michael Jackson
3. Barry Sonnenfeld
4. James Frey
5. Jay Leno
6. Mickey Raorke
7. Sean Young
8. David Lee Roth
9. Eric Roberts
10. OJ Simpson

Mr. Average · Post by **Mr. Average** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 11:46 pm

He ain't no Johnny Carson, but I think Jay has something to offer.

"Thank You, Chuck Norris"

1. Tom Cruise
2. Michael Jackson
3. Barry Sonnenfeld
4. James Frey
5. Chuck Norris
6. Mickey Raorke
7. Sean Young
8. David Lee Roth
9. Eric Roberts
10. OJ Simpson

miss buenos aires · Post by **miss buenos aires** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 12:32 am

I'm totally saving mine, for I know the wrath it will bring. All I'm saying (in advance) is, some people need to let go.

so lacklustre · Post by **so lacklustre** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 7:00 am

Is this American Celery only? I don't know half the names on the list; who are they?

miss buenos aires · Post by **miss buenos aires** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:44 am

Who don't you know, slack?

so lacklustre · Post by **so lacklustre** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 12:07 pm

Barry Sonnenfeld
James Frey
Sean Young
Eric Roberts

miss buenos aires · Post by **miss buenos aires** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 12:14 pm

Barry Sonnenfeld directed "Men in Black," which I'll plug one more time for having my grandpa in it. James Frey just got outed for having mostly made up his hugely best-selling memoir of recovery from drug addiction, "A Million Little Pieces." Oprah is really mad at him. Sean Young is a mostly has-been actress, but the only movie I can actually think of with her in it is "Mr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde," which was about as good as its title, so I don't know why she's on the list. Eric Roberts, I think, is Julia Roberts' brother, but I can't think of any movies he's been in, either...

Post by **BlueChair** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 12:35 pm

Barry Sonnenfeld doesn't deserve to be on this, simply due to the strength of his cinematography work on Blood Simple, Raising Arizona, and Miller's Crossing.

So I am replacing him with Paula Abdul

I also took the liberty of correcting the spelling on Mickey Rourke's last name.

"Thank You, Chuck Norris"

1. Tom Cruise
2. Michael Jackson
3. Paula Abdul
4. James Frey
5. Chuck Norris
6. Mickey Rourke
7. Sean Young
8. David Lee Roth
9. Eric Roberts
10. OJ Simpson

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 1:35 pm

Barry Sonnenfeld deserved to be on this list precisely because he used to be a great cinematographer and now churns out crap like Wild Wild West. But his replacement is a good one too.

Eric Roberts is indeed Julia's brother. He was also nominated for an Academy Award for his work in Star 80. And he was brilliant in The Pope of Greenwich Village. What happened, Eric? How did you go from promising talent to being even worse that your sister? So sad.

Sean Young was an up-and-comer who did some very solid acting in No Way Out and Blade Runner. She was also in Wall Street. She was up for the Vickie Vale role in Batman and didn't get it because of a scheduling conflict. Then, she famously lobbied for the role of Catwoman in Batman Returns, wearing the costume and aggressively stalking Tim Burton. That was pretty much the end of her serious career.

alexv · Post by **alexv** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 2:36 pm

Did anybody see Mickey's work in Sin City? Agreed that he's been a world class idiot for almost 30 years (the French loved the young Mickey though), but using Noise's criteria (phoning it in; sell out) he's out of this list. Steve Martin, on the other hand, deserves to be in it. Here's a guy who is bright and educated enough to write short stories and novels that are well received, to make top notch movies, and nevertheless he's spent the last few years doing crappy pictures solely for the money. If he needed it, I wouldn't object. But he's rich.

1. Tom Cruise
2. Michael Jackson
3. Paula Abdul
4. James Frey
5. Chuck Norris
6. Steve Martin
7. Sean Young
8. David Lee Roth
9. Eric Roberts
10. OJ Simpson

alexv · Post by **alexv** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 2:41 pm

Noise, Sean Young also allegedly stalked James Woods, which makes her a serial stalker, and more importantly brings into question her taste in men. I'm not sure she's well known enough to be a "celebrity" but her inherent crazyness gives her an edge over her more famous rivals on your list. On Eric Roberts, I think his performance in Pope was one of the all-time worst movie performances: his "they cut my fingeeeeer" emoting is priceless. I think ritual overacting and drugs did him in, to answer your question.

LessThanZero · Post by **LessThanZero** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 2:43 pm

Subquestion: Is it better to burn out or fade away?

Steve Martin was STEVE MARTIN! We'll let him do whatever the hell he wants to do. Scott Stapp on the other hand...

1. Tom Cruise
2. Michael Jackson
3. Paula Abdul
4. James Frey
5. Chuck Norris
6. Scott Stapp
7. Sean Young
8. David Lee Roth
9. Eric Roberts
10. OJ Simpson

alexv · Post by **alexv** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 2:45 pm

Who's Scott Stapp, LTZ?

LessThanZero · Post by **LessThanZero** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 2:46 pm

He was the lead singer of the band Creed. I've always wanted to get my revenge on him for that....AND NOW I HAVE!

King Hoarse · Post by **King Hoarse** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 3:02 pm

So he did something good before Creed? Shocking.

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 2:46 am

Yeah, I'm afraid I have to call bogus on Scott Stapp. He was never worth a damn to begin with. He's never been anything but an embarrasment. Sorry, LTZ.

Alexv, I disagree about Mickey Roarke and Eric Roberts, but Steve Martin is an EXCELLENT choice. I was conned into taking my kids to the latest Pink Panther. That's an hour and a half I'll never get back.

So, officially, the list is still:

1. Tom Cruise
2. Michael Jackson
3. Paula Abdul
4. James Frey
5. Chuck Norris
6. Steve Martin
7. Sean Young
8. David Lee Roth
9. Eric Roberts
10. OJ Simpson

pophead2k · Post by **pophead2k** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 9:15 am

You know, its sad about Steve Martin. Remember his excellent turn against type in The Spanish Prisoner? I thought that signalled a turn to some more challenging material, a type of which I am sure he can handle. Robin Williams may be annoying, and may have made some terrible films (Patch Adams, anyone?) but at least he has toyed with some darker material and some drama. Anyway, on to the list, and the inclusion of a man in much the same boat as Mr. Martin:

IN: Eddie Murphy.
OUT: Diamond Dave. Look, he only ever had one schtick. Just because it was entertaining in the early days, no one should have expected it to age well.

1. Tom Cruise
2. Michael Jackson
3. Paula Abdul
4. James Frey
5. Chuck Norris
6. Steve Martin
7. Sean Young
8. Eddie Murphy
9. Eric Roberts
10. OJ Simpson

Mr. Average · Post by **Mr. Average** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 11:13 am

I use my second change to remove Chuck Norriss. I put him there, but according to the criteria I am not certain that he was once bonafide and now has faalen. I think he has been consistent throughout, so he doesn't meet all the requirements.

In his place, the wonderfully addictive personality that continues to slowly, methodically, and absolutely self-destruct. Tom Sizemore.

1. Tom Cruise
2. Michael Jackson
3. Paula Abdul
4. James Frey
5. Tom Sizemore
6. Steve Martin
7. Sean Young
8. Eddie Murphy
9. Eric Roberts
10. OJ Simpson

Emotional Toothpaste · Mon Feb 20, 2006 11:30 am

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

Okay, okay, just had to get that out of my system . . . he's already been removed.

Out - Tom Cruise; yes, there is plenty to hate about him, but still, he's been in some damn entertaining movies: Rainman, Jerry McGuire, A Few Good Men

In - Kiefer Sutherland, Chuck Norris would flick him away like a booger.

1. Kiefer Sutherland
2. Michael Jackson
3. Paula Abdul
4. James Frey
5. Tom Sizemore
6. Steve Martin
7. Sean Young
8. Eddie Murphy
9. Eric Roberts
10. OJ Simpson

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Tue Feb 21, 2006 1:25 pm

Since I contributed the first list, and since I reserve the right to call bogus, I'm not making any changes. (It would be too much power). But I'd argue that Eddie Murphy still does good work when he voices cartoon characters. He's definitely fallen away in his live action work, and it's sad, especially when you watch 48 Hours or the first Beverly Hills Cop.

Who Shot Sam? · Post by **Who Shot Sam?** » Tue Feb 21, 2006 2:21 pm

I'll probably get ripped for this, but here goes:

In: Robert DeNiro.

Since the mid-90s his choice of roles has been pretty poor. He's given so many towering performances that I'd like to forgive him, but "Meet the Fockers" was the last straw.

Out: James Frey

One book - big deal.

1. Kiefer Sutherland
2. Michael Jackson
3. Paula Abdul
4. Robert DeNiro
5. Tom Sizemore
6. Steve Martin
7. Sean Young
8. Eddie Murphy
9. Eric Roberts
10. OJ Simpson

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Tue Feb 21, 2006 2:40 pm

Has John Travolta done anything very good since Pulp Fiction? Just saw Ladder 49 and he was very annoying, I got the definite impression that he just kind of fed off the fact that he was John Travolta. If he's done something extraordinary, I'm not aware of it. If he has, someone can take him out.

Out: Eddie Murphy. I'm not sure he is burned out. I really enjoyed his work on Shrek. He doesn't bother me.

1. Kiefer Sutherland
2. Michael Jackson
3. Paula Abdul
4. Robert DeNiro
5. Tom Sizemore
6. Steve Martin
7. Sean Young
8. John Travolta
9. Eric Roberts
10. OJ Simpson

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Tue Feb 21, 2006 3:14 pm

Who Shot Sam? wrote:I'll probably get ripped for this, but here goes:

In: Robert DeNiro.

Nah, that's a good one.

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Tue Feb 21, 2006 3:15 pm

bambooneedle wrote:Has John Travolta done anything very good since Pulp Fiction?

I liked Get Shorty, but it was pretty much the same role as Vincent Vega. Otherwise, not really.

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Tue Feb 21, 2006 3:21 pm

Well, he's in there now. I hated him in Face Off. Which reminds me...