Wake up you footy fans!!!

[Who Shot Sam?]

Nice to see my Blues do the business at Anfield this weekend (sorry Bunny and EC). 'Bout f***ing time.

Otis, thanks for Veron!

[Otis Westinghouse]

You can have the fucker! Must say I was well pissed off to hear he'd got the first goal. Fair dues, hope he does better at Chelquebookski. Hope you all saw Christiano 'the real' Ronaldo. Looks superb. I too was sceptical, but he is the dog's bollocks. The 'David who?' cliches were running thick and hilariously fast. I mean, who's complaining when Giggsy does the business from the free kick (and another goal, earning me 18 points in fantasy football, on the official Premiership site, lethally addictive and compelling, I already realise), and the new heir of the mighty number 7 shirt (how much history does that shirt hold at MUFC?) is a total genius. Only 18, but fully formed. I reckon we can expect great things. Djemba Djemba looks as good as his name, Kleberson ('he won the World Cup for Brazil - Fergie) has yet to show, Bellion is good, and Howard (yes another US goalie, how do you do it, first Friedel and then this, well cool) is class too.

So I was dead happy, with the slight exception of the unbelievable prospect of Ruud (my captain, of course, cos points are doubled), missing penalties two games running, when he'd never done this before. At least he got one though.

God it's a long summer without the league, no? Where are you all. On holiday? (I know the Doof is, I've got Zamora on my team too, have high hopes.) Too hot? Poor Bunny will be crying into her pint at the Pogue Mahone, the Pool started OK, but then it all went wrong. And as for Owen missing his penalty, unbelievable. I think the script was meant to be 'Roman spends £65m or whatever the hell it was to then watch Kewell and Owen get a hat trick each and get egg all over his face', so something went wrong. And the Chelsea fan next to me at work was actually there - thank God he's out all week. Too much gloating would be awful.

Man City did well. Leeds v Newcastle, which I had on my 'game a week' deal was a cracker.

[Gillibeanz]

ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I am awake!! Wots happened to Sol Campbell since he became an Arse player? Hes gone all neanderthal - hacking down players left right and centre!! From England international to thug in one easy step - how the mighty have fallen. Still serves him right - if you sign up with the opposition scum you become a scumbag!!

I see Spurs have started as they mean to go on.........

[Otis Westinghouse]

And I've got the tosser in my team, so lost 2 points! Grrrrr.

Go, Zamora, go!

[Who Shot Sam?]

Otis:

From what I saw of Ronaldo I was very impressed. A good buy, but it was also nice to see Roman drive up the price a bit (from £6m to £12m+). I think Chelsea will get more out of Veron than Old Red Nose ever did. Good business for us and, in the long run, probably for you as well.

As for Owen's penalty, what a f***ing joke. Cudicini barely moved. If they enforce that rule all season long, there will be an awful lot of penalties retaken. Someone wanted to see the Flying Pixie open his account and wasn't taking no for an answer.

We deserved the victory after jammy last minute Liverpool goals at Anfield two years in a row. I can't help but get excited about this season. Some great players brought in. I just wonder if we have enough quality up front.

Also great to see Abramovich reacting like any other supporter. Thanks Ken, you can go now.

[PlaythingOrPet]

That's right, Otis, get it all out of your system. A friend said the close season is like being forced to be celibate for 3 months.

Did you know Saddam Hussain has been captured by Iraqi freedom fighters? Bush said the US government would give them them $35 million if they handed him over over to the US army. Chelski offered $40 million.

Ah, the world of email -- the source of many a bad joke.

[so lacklustre]

Otis - I seem to remember you defending Veron when I slagged him off last season, how times change! Has any one pointed out that you bought him for c£28m and sold him for c£15m, good bit of business there fergus. Christiano did look good on first impressions, but will reserve judgement until you play half decent opposition and the temperature drops. Djemba looks okay although looks as though he will get a cards.

Gilli - Sticks and stones..... at least Sol now has some medals to polish during his suspensions. Seriously, I don't believe that he is a dirty player, just unfotunate at the moment. The standard of refereeing is diabolical and the FA makes things worse with petty and nonsensical rules (e.g. Campbells half-hearted retaliation against Djemba can be referred to the video panel because the ref didnt see it, but because the ref did see Djembas awful tackle and decided to let him off that can't be referred to the video panel. Wheres the fairness in that????)

Sam - Agree that the penalty retake was bad, another example of dumb refs (and their advisors). It seems that each season they pick on some petty rule and try to enforce it to the letter. There will probably be a spate of these early season before they fade away due to media mockery.

Here is my prediction for the season:

1. Man U
2. Arse
3. Chelsk
4. Toon
5. Pool
6. Blackburn
7. Man C
8. Charlton
9. Birm C
10. Boro
11. Toffees
12. Totteringham
13. Dirty Leeds
14. Soton
15. Fulham
16. Leicester
17. Portsmouth
18. Bolton
19. Villa
20. Wolves


Hoddle will be the first to be sacked.

My Telegraph fantasy team is:
Friedel
Harte
Henchoz
Lauren
Bridge
Juninho
Holland
Veron
Henry
Owen
Anelka

[laughingcrow]

Im still depressed my english team, the mighty black and gold of Wolves, got a humping on Saturday...and who else scores but the SPL's reject Amoruso.

Heres my prediction for the league...

1. Chelsea
2. Man U
3. Arsenal
4. Newcastle
5. Liverpool
6. Southampton
7. Blackburn
8. Everton
9. Man City
10. Middlesbrough
11. Tottenham
12. Fulham
13. Leeds
14. Birmingham
15. Villa
16. Bolton
17. Wolves (skin of teeth)
18. Portsmouth
19. Charlton
20. Leicester

[Otis Westinghouse]

Of course I defended JSV then - he was a Man utd player! Now he's just a bald tosser in a blue shirt. I can be more magnanimous over Becks after all those years of service, but he's still a hairy git in a white shirt (actually I can't think of him without thinking of Avid Merrion with the Mickey Mouse ears - am I alone here in LOVING Bo Selecta? "Fuck off Steven you knobjockey...").

Really, SLL, not one Utd player in your team. I have Sol (grrrr) and Gilberto. And of course RVN, Giggs, and JO'S (where the hell was he on Saturday?). My prediction for the season is:

1. Man Utd.

You're so right, it is like celibacy, and there is a lot to get off my chest, as it were.

[Gillibeanz]

No no no lads - youve got it all wrong - here let auntie Gilli fix it for you.....

1. Tottenham
2. Chelsea
3. Arsenal
4. Man united
5. Liverpool
6. Southampton
7. Newcastle
8. Man City
9. Fullham
10. Middlesbrough
11. Blackburn
12. Everton
13. Leeds
14. Birmingham
15. Wolves
16. Bolton
17. Villa
18. Leciester
19. Charlton
20. Portsmouth

[Who Shot Sam?]

Ok, I'll give it a go...

1. Manchester United
2. Chelsea
3. Arsenal
4. Newcastle
5. Liverpool
6. Blackburn
7. Southampton
8. Manchester City
9. Birmingham
10. Tottenham
11. Middlesbrough
12. Leeds
13. Everton
14. Charlton
15. Aston Villa
16. Portsmouth
17. Fulham
18. Bolton
19. Wolves
20. Leicester

[PlaythingOrPet]

What's with all this Newcastle are gonna finish ahead of Liverpool crap?!! You fools. Sorry, WSS?, this ain't your year. You cannae buy yourself a title, unless you're Lord of Warleigh. Then you can buy yourself a title AND a wife.

1. Arsenal
2. Man U
3. 'Pool
4. Chelski
5. Newcastle
6. Blackburn
7. Man City
8. Everton
9. Southampton
10. Charlton
11. Tottenham
12. Birmingham
13. Middlesbrough
14. Leeds
15. Aston Villa
16. Bolton
17. Fulham
18. Portsmouth
19. Leicester
20. Wolves

[Otis Westinghouse]

Good of you to put MU before Chelsea, WSS, a wise move. Arsenal aren't gonna do it, they just aren't. But what I really want to know is who's gonna win our work fantasy football league. We should have started an EC fans one too! That would have kept us arguing.

[so lacklustre]

It's all gone quiet up there in scouseland .

The mancs scraped a lucky win over the mighty Wolves last night, meanwhile the gooners roll on.

[PlaythingOrPet]

They're calling for Houllier's head up here. And I'm listening to 'It's Time'.

"Where passion is squandered and money is spent". Did Elvis have a vision?

[Who Shot Sam?]

PoP:

Houllier needs to go. All that money spent and boring football to show for it. Some very dodgy purchases. Why playing Kewell out of position? Only Houllier could screw that up. The one goal you have scored was a twice-taken penalty. The sooner you get a competent manager in there the better. Lots of talent to work with - Hyppia, Owen, Gerrard, Riise...

[PlaythingOrPet]

He's playing Kewell there so he can come in from the right and score. Or so that's the plan. What we need is a winger to cross some decent balls. Even though I'm not keen on him, Kewell is the only man on the team to do that. ON THE LEFT.

Houllier does indeed need to go, WSS?. Some of his choices, both on the field and in the transfer market, have been at best bizarre, at worst insanely idiotic.

I mean, a nil-nil draw at White Heart Lane? GIMME A BREAK!!

[laughingcrow]

Wasn't that game at Anfield last night? Technically that's even worse.

Rumour has it that Kevin Keegan might return to be the reds saviour again at the end of the season, I like ol' Houllier, seems like a nice bloke, but bought too many dodgy inexperienced foreigners (I say this keeping Alf Garnett far from my mind). Liverpool should have gone in for Mendieta, Ronaldinho, Upson, the list goes on...

What a champions league draw though...ManU versus Rangers...should be a cracker eh! Looks like all the British teams should fare pretty well in it this year, can't see Chelsea, Man U not qualifying, and Celts and Arsenal look good for it if they can get some good away wins! Even tho there's something about cold climates and the Arsenal team that spells disaster, and trips to Ukraine and Russia don't look easy.

[PlaythingOrPet]

I knew full well they played at Anfield last night so I don't know what I was going on about there. It was supposed to say.....

I mean, a nil-nil draw against Spurs? GIMME A BREAK!

Here's the teamsheet from last night:

Jerzy Dudek
Jamie Carragher
Igor Biscan
Sami Hyypia
Steve Finnan
Vladimir Smicer
Steven Gerrard
Harry Kewell
El-Hadji Diouf
Milan Baros
Michael Owen

Subs :

Salif Diao
Chris Kirkland
Anthony Le Tallec
Danny Murphy
John Arne Riise

Out of 16 there are only 2 world class footballers on that sheet. Ridiculous. Every time Biscan is mentioned in the start-up line I begin to weep.

[lipstickvogue]

No no no lads - youve got it all wrong - here let auntie Gilli fix it for you.....

1. Tottenham
2. Chelsea
3. Arsenal
4. Man united
5. Liverpool
6. Southampton
7. Newcastle
8. Man City
9. Fullham
10. Middlesbrough
11. Blackburn
12. Everton
13. Leeds
14. Birmingham
15. Wolves
16. Bolton
17. Villa
18. Leciester
19. Charlton
20. Portsmouth

I'm gonna put my money on Gilli's listing...

[laughingcrow]

Plaything or Pet...in the immortal words of the late great Douglas Adams..'Don't Panic'.

That's a stronger lineup than it seems, there are some good players at that club (ok, excluding Biscan, Diao and Traore) I'm sure they'll come good soon...spare a thought for the Wolves of this world...

[PlaythingOrPet]

Plaything or Pet...in the immortal words of the late great Douglas Adams..'Don't Panic'.

I thought it was Lance Corporal Jones who said that .

Christ, tell me why Riise and Murphy are always on the bench!

I'll predict Wolves will stay up only because Dave Jones is such a nice guy.

[so lacklustre]

Riise and Murphy both had the audacity to try a forward pass in the previous match so who-lier dropped them.

I think his team selections and formations are worse than some of his dodgy buys. Kewell is proven both on the left and up front, so Who-lier plays him on the right, as A Hansen would say "Unbelievable". Ithink the 'pool finish in the top four with their current squad but probably not with the current management team. I also could not see Keegan fairing much better, someone like O'Neill or Curbishley would do well.

In my book it's a race between Who & Hodds to be the first to get the sack in the premiership.

As usually the Arse get the tough CL group, moan moan. I don't fancy our chances with all that travelling, just wish I was a Bayern Munich fan, as they seem to have the soft group.

The mancs will stuff the Huns out of sight imo.

[shabbydoll]

I've been putting money on Chelsea for the last two weeks or so, and so far I have won over £50. The odds have been quite low, but since they have spent so much on players of late I think it would be highly embarrassing for them to lose to certain teams, both here in the UK and in the European arena. This idea of mine to make a bit of extra cash is the only time in my adult life that I have cared less about sport. I'm beginning to see the point of it, to help me pay for this new home.

[laughingcrow]

Riise is a class act... he must get sick of being hacked to the ground all the time though....Dunno why he was on the bench, Houllier must think 'they don't like it uppem'!!!