Why you shouldn't want to sleep on a friend's couch.

Marxbro · Post by **Marxbro** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 9:31 am

You know how you go to a town other than your own and a friend offers to let you sleep on their couch? Maybe what I'm about to tell you only applies to me (although I'd find it hard to believe) but in case it doesn't you might want to rethink the sleeping on the couch thing.

Being the total lazy douche that I am and spending so much quality time with my couch a thought kind of occurred to me: I fart while sitting on my couch more than I fart pretty much anywhere else. As anyone who knows me will tell you I really like to keep out of any talk of bodily functions but in this case I think its necessary. If you think about it a couch cushion is almost like a giant fart sponge. It sits there, right under your ass the whole time, sucking up what ever you squeeze into it; it's like a giant gas depository.

Now, when you stay at someone's house and you sleep on their couch you are just agreeing to sleep with your head where their asses most often are. You are sleeping on a fart receptacle and maybe you should think about sleeping on the floor instead. The worst thing that probably happens down there is that you sleep where people put their nasty feet and maybe on rare occasion the dog pees.

I have a difficult time staying at friends houses for my own personal reasons, not usually because of the fart absobtion of their couches. I just thought I'd throw this out into the world as a public service.

http://brainsquiggles.blogspot.com/

Post by **BlueChair** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 9:39 am

Marxbro,

Do you have any interest in Elvis Costello?

Marxbro · Post by **Marxbro** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 9:47 am

DO you want a list of the EC albums I own, including vinyl? How about the times and places I've seen his shows?

Are you the EC police?

Here's a sampling for your report to HQ Mr. Niven:
The Juliet Letters
Imperial Bedroom
Spike
Painted From Memory
Brutal Youth
Armed Forces
When I Was Cruel

My current favorite EC song is This Is Hell off the Brutal album.

I've seen EC live twice: Once at the Universal Amphitheatre in Los Angeles which I had backstage passes for and also at Starlight Bowl in San Diego which I didn't have backstage passes for..

The list goes on. What kind of question is that to ask me? Who are you to ask me that? Is this not kind of the "general room" on these boards? Take your questions and shove them.

*and now that I see you are a moderator here, ban me if you want. I'm an EC fan and have as much of a right to post here as anyone. Power trip away!*

Post by **BlueChair** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:26 am

I have no intentions of banning you. I'm just kind of curious as to why you show up and start posting about penis pills and fart stains on friends' couches as opposed to music and the like.

Marxbro · Post by **Marxbro** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 11:07 am

I'm just crazy like that I guess.

Mr. Average · Post by **Mr. Average** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 11:46 am

The Ted Turner colorized tongue is the dead giveaway...

martinfoyle · Post by **martinfoyle** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:25 pm

It's WHAR, Part deux! Welcome, sir, though easy on the shoving, please.

John · Post by **John** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 1:40 pm

Shoving would hinder the farting.

SoLikeCandy · Post by **SoLikeCandy** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 1:46 pm

Marxbro wrote: I'm an EC fan and have as much of a right to post here as anyone.

Agreed, darlin'. But as soon as you start posting about Obie and Anthony, I'm coming to your house and hurting you in a bad way.

Post by **spooky girlfriend** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 1:48 pm

She means that, too. Nobody messes with Candy.

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 1:56 pm

She was cast as Jules and O-Ren Ishii for a reason!

Speaking of which......anyone want to see that thread revived? I'm sure Miss Buenos Aires would be curious to know how many lead roles she could rack up this time!

miss buenos aires · Post by **miss buenos aires** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 2:18 pm

I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille...

SoLikeCandy · Post by **SoLikeCandy** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 3:07 pm

Sounds like fun! I think Mme BA and I could even get away with being a new-age interracial Cagney and Lacy...

Jackson Monk · Post by **Jackson Monk** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 5:43 pm

Marxbro wrote:DO you want a list of the EC albums I own, including vinyl? How about the times and places I've seen his shows?

Are you the EC police?

Here's a sampling for your report to HQ Mr. Niven:
The Juliet Letters
Imperial Bedroom
Spike
Painted From Memory
Brutal Youth
Armed Forces
When I Was Cruel

My current favorite EC song is This Is Hell off the Brutal album.

I've seen EC live twice: Once at the Universal Amphitheatre in Los Angeles which I had backstage passes for and also at Starlight Bowl in San Diego which I didn't have backstage passes for..

The list goes on. What kind of question is that to ask me? Who are you to ask me that? Is this not kind of the "general room" on these boards? Take your questions and shove them.

*and now that I see you are a moderator here, ban me if you want. I'm an EC fan and have as much of a right to post here as anyone. Power trip away!*

Such a sensitive guy....could only be Mr WHAR.

Marxbro · Post by **Marxbro** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 1:21 am

Who the fudge is opie and anthony?

Boy With A Problem · Post by **Boy With A Problem** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 3:28 am

Marxbro wrote -

Who the fudge is opie and anthony?

So Like Candy wrote -

...posting about Obie and Anthony, I'm coming to your house ...

Obie or Opie?

Copenhagen Fan · Post by **Copenhagen Fan** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 3:57 am

Marxi

You forgot to mention the notorious "booger trench" or the place right next to the couch where one tosses undesireable things like boogers and stray nose hairs. That is just as toxic as the fart sponge concept.

Jackson Monk · Post by **Jackson Monk** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 4:05 am

Boy With A Problem wrote:Marxbro wrote -

Who the fudge is opie and anthony?
So Like Candy wrote -

...posting about Obie and Anthony, I'm coming to your house ...
Obie or Opie?

methinks the imposter is rumbled....doncha just hate it when mulit-personalities use the same personality!??!

Marxbro · Post by **Marxbro** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 4:12 am

Who am I supposed to be impersonating?

martinfoyle · Post by **martinfoyle** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 5:32 am

This guy, though you are way more literate.

Marxbro · Post by **Marxbro** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 6:29 am

is the picture (his avatar) Chris Difford from squeeze?

laughingcrow · Post by **laughingcrow** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 8:01 am

I agree with your sentiment on flatulence, and how one might be sleeping with your head nestled next to a wasp's nest of toxic arse gas...but don't you fart more in bed, when asleep....I know I do. I remember one time sleeping in a girls bed, and having to hold in farts all night....even subconsciously when I was sleeping...because of course ladies do not fart.
So, basically if I was staying at a friends house, I'd rather sleep on their couch than in their bed...which makes sense anyway, as casual sex can ruin friendships.