It's over.

[Copenhagen Fan]

Oh please, if CF can advise someone to 'violently' shove his dick in some woman, I can advise CF to shove his attitude up his ass. I try to be a respectful person but when someone is advocating sexual violence I find the only respectful response is outrage. I don't remember signing anything saying I had to 'accept' all opinions on this board including those derogating women, something Cope has done from his first posts two years ago.

Fair enough! I don't have any problem at all with you telling me to shove it up my ass because you find my statements offensive. Go right ahead and tell it like it is...........

[Copenhagen Fan]

Amen, sister. The violence in Cope's post is unbelievably offensive. I know I risk wrath for saying something about this, since multitudes jumped on my case last time I took Cope to task, but for fuck's sake! Enough is enough with that. The "views" expressed by this predator are abhorant. And they have not a damn thing to do with Elvis.

Have you never jammed it in violently?

[taz]

Cope was right in his post...whar IS going to do one of two things, either have her break his heart again or he's going to break hers...it's inevitable.


but then again, I'm in a weird mood....

[A rope leash]

...said The Taz, as he gazed into the plastic ball, and watched the snow fall.

[Copenhagen Fan]

*looks into his crystal ball and determines that Rope needs a beer*

[Gillibeanz]

I know Cope is sometimes outrageous and offends some people with his posts, but the thing I like about him is he never takes offense at anything! He never gets abusive to peoples comments about him, and is an asset to the board generally when hes not sidetracked by sex! Personally I don't get offended by his posts - even though I may not agree with them (each to his own and all that) but I can understand people that do.

So lighten up everyone and lets be friends, and just agree that we all have different sexual tastes and as long as we are expressing them with consenting adults behind closed doors then who gives a damn!!!!

[selfmademug]

just jam it in real violently and then walk out in silence after you get off!

That is not a description of something between consenting adults, it's a description of how to unilaterally degrade someone, and if you read it in its original context you'll see that's exactly how he intended it.

Sorry, I have to be a stickler about this. If he raped someone it wouldn't comfort me to know that he's groovy and open minded and not offended by people's opinions about him. Being contrary and 'out there' are not good things in and of themselves unless you are interested in a relativistic world where 'to each his own' includes murder, torture or, gosh!, whatever you like.

[wehitandrun]

Rope, go make the board entertaining, or don't come back- considering it doesn't entertain you enough.

[noiseradio]

Have you never jammed it in violently?

You have no right to speak to people like this. How dare you? I won't dignify your question by actually stooping to answer it. Suffice it to say, you're obviously a pig, and I have too much respect for women to let you say shit like this without calling you on it.

Everybody let's be friends? Give me a break.

[A rope leash]

This board is for Elvis Costello fans. That could be anybody.

Ramming it violently does not necessarily mean that the sex was non-consensual. Walking out later is a bit of macho fantasy.

While hit and run is absolutely correct in that my time might well be better spent elsewhere, I am a certifiable Elvis Costello nut, and I can waste my time posting on this or any other thread here until such time as my IP is blocked.

I think I will have that beer...

Geeze, folks, we could have a lot worse than CopeFan hanging out here. As far as I know, he's not posting from prison.

As far as me making this board interesting, well, I have posted many works of art, personal photos, interesting links, biting gif files, and even my own compositions. It hasn't exactly started any fires, but I tried.

It's the same old posters and the same old arguments. The only way to keep Cope or Rope from posting is by banning the IPs.

This is a site for Elvis Costello fans. Deal with it. No one really knows exactly what is behind every poster, and not every poster expresses their true self with every post. It's like a bar, you are comfortable there, or your not. Like a bar, you are accepted there, or you are not.

People get thrown out of bars all the time.

O Great Taz, send your angel Spooky to release me from my bindings!

Ban the IPs!

[Gillibeanz]

MUGGY: Of course I dont condone real rape and anyone who did would be a nutter! But there are a lot of consenting adults out there who are into sadism and masochism and role play, and as long as they are doing it in private and not bothering other people then good luck to them!

I hardly think we can assume that Cope would be a rapist from his posts though thats going too far! And as far as this board is concerned because thats all I can judge him from I think hes ok! But then thats just my opinion and everyone is entitled to theirs as Cope has already pointed out.

Isn't that what this board is about - sharing opinions? So lets not all get crabby with each other just because we are different and agree to disagree.

[selfmademug]

Ramming it violently does not necessarily mean that the sex was non-consensual.
!

No it absolutely doesn't, I couldn't agree more. However, the scenario he described was suggested as genuine retribution not some consensual or fantasy play. Sorry, you won't be changing my mind on this.

Deal with it? Gosh, I thought that's just what I was doing. You are the only one who ever brings up banning people from the board. I have no interest in banning either of you, though I understand it does feed your persecution complex to imply that's what I or others want. Last time I checked, all I was doing was replying to a post...

And Gilli, I don't think you're reading my words carefully. I am all for freedom between consenting partners, believe me, I feel very strongly about that. However if you go back and read what he wrote, in its context, you'll see it was a casual/joking suggestion that had nothing to do with consensual sex. and everything to do with one-directional punishment and humilation. Oh so funny! Likewise I am not saying I think Cope is a rapist; I am saying he is talking about rape in a way that offends me-- advocating it in a joking way and not admitting it. This is not my favorite kind of post to make, believe me, I'd rather be back to posting about fried dough (to say nothing of the next Elvis records, drool) but I can't in good conscience let this crap stand. I haven't advocated he be banned frpm posting the crap, though I'd love it if he would (stop, not be banned); I'm just responding.

I know I am being a pain in the ass about this, and yes I'm boring myself to tears as well as the rest of you, but it's important.

[noiseradio]

there are a lot of consenting adults out there who are into sadism and masochism and role play, and as long as they are doing it in private and not bothering other people then good luck to them!

But he IS bothering people, and it's NOT in private. If Cope is posting this stuff in public, even going so far as to offer advice to a very young poster on how to seek retribution on his ex by violating her, then even if he doesn't mean rape, it's information that is entirely inappropriate for public consumption. And I'm fully with Mug on this: you'll never convince me that he means anything less than a violent non-consentual act here. But again, even if he doesn't, this message board is not about this crap. The annex may be for off-topic posts, but this is completely beyond the pale. I'm not asking for bannings, either, but these types of posts at least should stop.

[A rope leash]

Aside from my persecution complex, I mentioned banning IPs because other forums do it. Some forums have the most god-awful posters!

Does anyone remember a little poster called "alison"? She came on here and called Elvis fat and ugly. I think she got banned right away, if I remember correctly.

There's nothing wrong with kicking someone out of the club, I can't help but wonder if we couldn't have changed alison's mind if we let her post.

It's a growth thing...

[Gillibeanz]

MUGGY: I did read all the posts - maybe I just interpreted them a different way to you . Thats the thing with this board - no matter how carefully you pick your words they can be read as something other than you meant! And you are NEVER boring!

NOISE: I understand what you are saying. But discussion is the only way of exchanging views and even changing peoples views!

[selfmademug]

Thats the thing with this board - no matter how carefully you pick your words they can be read as something other than you meant!

May I just say that, as a writer, I find that thought horribly depressing? But thanks for saying I'm never boring!

[noiseradio]

Gilli,

This has been discussed ad nauseum with Cope over and over. His views aren't changing, and in the meantime, he's advising a kid to abuse his girlfriend out of revenge. I'm not interested in a discussion with him or anyone else about the merits of this--it seems patently obvious how wrong it is. I understand that you disagree, but there's not much I can do about that. I just don't think there's any excuse for those kinds of posts.

[wehitandrun]

We had a wonderful day today!

[Copenhagen Fan]

no comment

[Copenhagen Fan]

NOIZE> so you think I should be censored? Why don't you show your outrage at some of EC's creepy lyrics and censor him as well? I don't have a problem with you voicing your opinion about me or what I say, I just think you're a bit hypocrytical and often use your beliefs when they suit your agenda to keep other people down and elevate yourself.

Shoot me for being a lousy relationship counselor.

[Copenhagen Fan]

[quote="selfmademug
However if you go back and read what he wrote, in its context, you'll see it was a casual/joking suggestion that had nothing to do with consensual sex. and everything to do with one-directional punishment and humilation. .[/quote]

I have to respond directly to your statements, as I take them seriously if they actually stir something personal for you or make you uncomfortable. Maybe I am indeed in another atmosphere when it concerns such issues and the power and the ramifications and social implications of my statements have been watered down in my own head and lost on me, as I have an extreme sexuality where everything goes. Maybe one should not take such issues lightly or even joke about them, as some people may be seriously hurting or feel intimidated by the notion that I proposed. Maybe I should have played it clean and given real advice. I admit that I have a morbid and politically incorrect brand of thinking, that maybe should be held for myself and not exposed to the general public. I will consider it because I do indeed respect you as a person. You have never been mean to anyone, including myself.

Maybe, if I was completely honest, I would just warn WHAR and tell him to watch out for his feelings, as he was clearly troubled and seemed vulnerable, and I felt he was in a tough position, at the mercy of love and I was seriously concered for HIM. I should have used a more honest and heartfelt approach to the situation. Maybe I drew from my own feelings and history, as I too have been hopelessly in love and vulrnerable only to be played like a violin by a seductive and enticing woman who weilded her viper-like spell only to crush me like a grape. I should have been more serious!!!!!!!! I am sorry.

[Copenhagen Fan]

I will say that I am having trouble trusting Kayla's feelings. But, I don't think she would mess around on me. I just want to know that she cares about me, I trust it when we're together... and that should be enough, right? (insert advice here).

I'll give you some real advice now and drop my BS. It is always difficult when you love someone and they are hot and cold, not sure if they are totally committed to the relationship and you. Off and On is a very tough thing to deal with, especially if you are 100% into the other person. It is a painful experience and it drives one batty! You say you trust her feelings when you are together ...does that mean that when you are not with her you are concerned?

I would make a list of all of the things you love about her, and then the things you don't love about her and then look at it carefully. Sometimes, a person who employs a "push-pull" strategy is extemely seductive. Just when you think you are in the pink, they pull back and leave you wanting for more. You have to assess if it is her you really want or if the "game" is what is interesting. Sometimes people who do not want us or give us just enough fuel to keep us hanging seem more interesting! You may want to look at your own history and issues and then try to examine her background as well. I have often fallen in love with women who do not believe in love, while (despite my public image) I do indeed believe in love 100% and always give myself 100% to the person whom I feel is the ONE. This is always a dangerous thing, and it can be scary. As I mentioned before, I was scarred by a number of relationships I have had, where I gave my all and then never really felt that I got enough back. Of course I took the wrong aproach and struck back with vengance and ended up "winning" what I felt was a battle of respect. This is not the way to go...........I feel that love should be easier than that. While love is worth fighting for, you can't make a person commit or love you. You can't win love or earn it. You have to just be yourself and be true to your own feelings. If you express your true feelings, and a the other person thinks less of you for doing so, then it's them who has the problem, not you. I too am a victim of a society where a man must perform, win, deserve and fight for love. Often we end up doing these things because it's what women expect and what we are taught through socialization. We end up seeing our own value as a man, as how we treat women and what we can do for them, but rarely examine what they can do for us, as our role is commonly seen as the one who needs to make it happen. "What can you give me?" is often the attitude that we are faced with as men. In my own case, this condition has made me hard and sceptical in many respects. My advice............be yourself, be true to yourself and your values and don't base your self worth on what other people, including women, think. Don't sell out because of the rush you feel when you are with her. Be honest, tell her what YOU need and want, and if she can't or won't deliver move on. In my own case, I often have been someone who could not pull out or move on until I'd had enough and then it was too late and I lost all of my feelings and human compassion. Don't let it go that far.

[noiseradio]

NOIZE> so you think I should be censored? Why don't you show your outrage at some of EC's creepy lyrics and censor him as well? I don't have a problem with you voicing your opinion about me or what I say, I just think you're a bit hypocrytical and often use your beliefs when they suit your agenda to keep other people down and elevate yourself.

Shoot me for being a lousy relationship counselor.

What I think is that you should know better and censor yourself. And if my belief that encouraging violence against women is wrong makes me a hypocrite, I'll wear it proudly.

[maria]

You know what's happening here is called a culture clash. I'm not being facetious, but nobody is ever going to win this one. You're speaking two different languages. You'll all be at this forever and still not get through to each other .... my opinion, for what it's worth