i used to be such a fun drunk...

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costellopunk
Posts: 124
Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2003 4:35 am
Location: recovering in corpus christi, tx
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i used to be such a fun drunk...

Postby costellopunk » Fri Aug 22, 2003 1:48 am

maybe
maybe this will break me
maybe
maybe it already has

am i feeling cracks
forming in my personality
as my moods
violently
swing fot the fences?

this anger
pulling itself
up
inside me

i swear it was never there before
i swear i will push it back down

i will kill it

i don't want it

but it claws at me
as it hides
waiting
for release
waiting for a bottle

it got out once

i don't remember it too well
i just remember
all the broken circles in my head
straightening
and forming a pattern

i woke up
covered in dirt
and stinking of booze

my glasses were bent
my jaw popped when i moved it
and the dried blood on my shirt...

i don't know

i wasn't there

i think i'm losing control
of everything inside
things i couldn't control too well
to begin with

is this breaking?

or am i just drinking too much?



trying to put out water with fire
-it takes a long time but god dies too/but not before he sticks it to you-

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Gillibeanz
Posts: 1697
Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2003 1:28 pm
Location: England

Postby Gillibeanz » Fri Aug 22, 2003 10:32 am

Trying to put out fire with firewater.......a bad path to go down CP. I hope you are feeling better soon. :(
COME ON YOU SPURS!!

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A rope leash
Posts: 1803
Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2003 6:47 pm
Location: southern misery, USA

Chemistry

Postby A rope leash » Fri Aug 22, 2003 11:15 am

Anger and booze are both highly volitile, and should not be mixed.

If you think you might be drinking too much, try stopping. Seriously. If you find it difficult, try smoking a big fatty. That should hold it off for a few more days. If you still find not drinking to be difficult after that, whatever you do, you should not drink. Stretch the sobriety period out as long as you possibly can. You may have to isolate yourself, but it will be worth it. After a while, if you do go back to drinking, you'll be doing it with a clear head and a new outlook, one of moderation and control.

One thing is for sure: if you keep drinking, you will become an alcoholic. I'm saying that's for everybody. I no longer drink on a regular basis because of the worsening addiction. It was not easy to quit. With booze, you have to take a long vacation from it now and then, or it will get you.

User avatar
costellopunk
Posts: 124
Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2003 4:35 am
Location: recovering in corpus christi, tx
Contact:

Postby costellopunk » Fri Aug 22, 2003 1:31 pm

like a lot of the stuff i post this is dated back a couple months ago. i usually solve the problem before posting the poem. in fact looking at this now its not as good as i remember it being. as far as drinking goes, i'm a lot more sober than i let on. anyway, better stuff is coming. i have been really busy between work and getting ready for school but as soon as i get into some kind of schedule i'll get some newer, less gloomy stuff posted. i guess you guys could take that as a threat.
-it takes a long time but god dies too/but not before he sticks it to you-


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