DEATH of a DOG

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A rope leash
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DEATH of a DOG

Post by A rope leash »

Fate never closes a door without opening another. It can happen that one becomes stuck and rusted in the awkward expression of the suddenly slammed.

The other openings are there, but they are sometimes not so inviting. A person can become frozen in the myriad of possible consequences of choosing a new pathway. A person might hesitate to the point when fate sucks them into a particular doorway, and there they become stuck on that journey, however pleasant or displeasing.

This sort of choice has been placed before me many times in my life. I have had well over twenty different addresses in my life, and probably by now more than ten different employers. A stable rock I am not.

It’s not the same this time. It’s hard for me to put a label on it. I’ve managed to do something for myself that I’ve always wanted to do, and now I’m stuck with it, and now I must fight to keep it. The usual action has been to dump the baggage and run, but something is not right this time.

I’m sick I guess, or the world is, or I’m sick of the world.

Those past times it always seemed to me like there was a future. I could almost see it. Now, all the open doors look like traps.

I’ve been under a general funk cloud for much of my life. I should have known the moment I saw daylight that it was just a fluke, that my luck couldn’t hold, that fate would not let it stand.

The assessment of blame for a fall cannot be easily measured. I could have been less generous, and kept more for me. I could have been more upright, and less slovenly. I could have seriously given a damn. But I didn’t so here I am.

I really don’t want to let anybody down, but I really can’t give a fuck, either.

It’s just not the same, anymore. The particular business I’ve been involved in has gone from being a very good opportunity to being a life-saving chance to eat for desperate ne’er-do-wells. The idea of standards and quality have gone out in favor of a numbers-based racket that increases stock values, but insures system structural failure on a regular basis, thus trailing along the desperate crumb by crumb. The horrible thing is, some of these folks wind up not even getting paid. The racket has not only targeted the customer, it has targeted the worker, as well.

Don’t you love this country? We torture people now. We kill innocent people because they happen to be in the way of the ambitions of the elite cocksuckers that run our government. Don’t you love it? Isn’t it the greatest?

Corporations that saw their fortunes rise in our country are now vacating, or facing failure. It’s just not the same as it used to be. I can’t count on that job at the mattress factory. The idea of an “American corporation” or a “Japanese corporation” is almost gone…now they are just “corporations”. The bottom line has become the only line, and those who do not tow it can just get trampled. One might argue that it has always been this way, but I am also sure that many of us can remember our parents working life-long careers, and their near-certainty of the future, and their pride in the work they did and the product they produced. Much of it is gone now, replaced by cheap Chinese Wal-Mart fare, and a system that nearly sustains itself by restaurant workers feeding other restaurant workers.

It’s just ain’t the same. So much money has been lost to banking and accounting scandals, tax breaks, and futile war that the entire economic system is on the brink of collapse. My future contains much less than it used to, although I am still a very lucky man. My problems getting restarted are nothing compared to someone who has had their home bulldozed, or their child murdered. I’m a big fat spoiled American brat, and I just don’t wanna…but hard times are here for me and I gotta get it through my head that I’m probably going to live through them.

I guess I’ll just hang here until Fate sucks me through a door...

…thanks for listening.
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Mr. Average
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Post by Mr. Average »

Rope...listening very closely.

You have such an interesting method of writing...it's called the "from the heart" methodology.

I have a humble favor to request. I wonder if you could follow the post above with a similar diatribe, rant, on-line missive, or essay...whatever it is called, to detail for us the things that make your heart beat a little faster with joy and anticipation. Yin Yang. The counterpoint to the aforementioned. Not as a means of providing a counterbalance tot he above. Not as a means to absolve the feelings that you have, or make them go away. You have been sharing with us long enough that we know that htese things aren't going to go away. They are essential ingedients, in some manifestation or another, of your character and, frankly, what makes you interesting to read, I could not disagree more with much of what you say, but I genuinely look forward to reading HOW you say it, and what propels you to the point where you open to this anonymous board that is, stangely enough, populated with lots of people who find it to be rather dull when you take your extended 'sabbaticals' and fail to post.

I gather that you love dogs.(I have an incredible grasp of the obvious). I also gather that you love everything outdoors...probably love to fish...maybe hunt (off-line). You clearly have an eye for beautiful women, as you have shared past love interest with us all. And you clearly have a passion for automobiles. Can't recall other things, but camping and camp fires probably fit.

Anyway, I would love to read your assessment of the things that you love about this wacky mortal coil upon which we age, grow wiser, and embrace the thngs that matter. I'm thinkin' it would be of general interest.
"The smarter mysteries are hidden in the light" - Jean Giono (1895-1970)
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Gillibeanz
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Post by Gillibeanz »

Rope im sorry to hear you are down. As for being disillusioned with the world Its called 'getting old and wise'! These things were always there - just when we are younger we dont see them or realise how important they are. When you are down you tend to just focus on the negative side of everything - but there is good out there and there are good people out there too working hard to make the world a better place. I do hope you will feel better soon - and get sucked through one of those better doors. :)
COME ON YOU SPURS!!
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A rope leash
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Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows...

Post by A rope leash »

An eagle flew over yesterday morning, its shadow flashing through the tree shadows. Beau silently alerted. There’s a newly dead tree at the far point of the pond. It would be great if one could nest there.

But they won’t. While I see this plot of land as a respite of peace and tranquil living, my niece’s boyfriend, Baby Doc, sees it as a motorcycle track. Where I see a lovely lake of water, he sees a jet-ski pool.

Eagles like dead trees, but they tend to shy away from rednecks revving motors.

There are so many beautiful birds here in the springtime. A red wing blackbird sits on a limb and protests until I fill the feeder again. My favorite this year has been an orange-headed woodpecker which I am surprised to see eating from the feeder. The squirrels aren’t even so bad this year, they have caused no damage, and a penny shot from a sling is enough to run them off for the day.

While I have participated in the raising of squirrel hunting dogs, I have rarely participated in an actual hunt. I don’t trust myself with firearms, and hunting for something to eat on a full stomach seems a bit odd to say the least. Raising squirrel dogs is easy if you have a few acres of woods, and a good bitch that really knows how to hunt. She does all the work.

It’s not that I love dogs so much as it is that they love me. Between the people that live here on Goat Hill, ten dogs maintain. When everyone is out of their cages, the dogs tend to fight over my affections. I’m the man.

It’s a tearful thing, the beauty of this planet. Yet that same beauty hides the violent system of creatures eating creatures in their bids to survive.

I’ve got a couple of new cats, Oscar and Felicia. They are beautiful, Hollywood-quality cats, and I am their master. That is, as much as one can master a cat. Oscar is a talkative Tom, who is very active and curious, and very handsome. He has gray and black stripes on a sort of gold underbelly. Felicia is the prettiest black cat I’ve ever seen, fluffy and elegant, and I’m thinking about charging folks who wish to pet her. She’s aloof and insolent, and not unlike a human beauty queen. Both of these cats are completely addicted to Meow Mix, but watch out. Oscar stalks squirrel, and yesterday Felicia came within inches of batting down a blackbird that had stopped to pick up some seed I had spilled upon the rail. Exciting? Yes it was…

A few days ago, a bird hit the pond and then flew into a nearby tree. I grabbed my binoculars and viewed a dashing kingfisher. I kept an eye on him for a while, and as I was watching couple of turtles floating about, the kingfisher struck again, this time in my binocular view, and pulled out a small bluegill, and flew away into the wood. Quite awesome, and exactly what I was looking for when I set up my home here.

I told my brother about seeing this bird, and he asked me how I knew it was a kingfisher. I told him it said “Kingfisher GT” on the side, and we had a good laugh. I share a love of old equipment with my brother, especially old automobiles. It’s true that I can be seen at any given time in the possession of a piece of crap or two, but they are never up on blocks…they always have fully-inflated tires. While I hold a lot of resentment towards mankind, I do understand that great beauty can be created by men, and even mass-produced. The beauty of automobiles masks the awful damage they have caused; much in the same way the beauty of nature has masked the ugly systems of nature. I love my old cars, but they can be money-suckers, and personal tragedies. I love my cats, but I don’t much like scooping out their boxes.

Cars have always been a way for me to express myself. A nice car can also get a person introduced to an attractive member of the opposite sex. I have had many relationships with different women, but I can’t say that any of them were practically perfect. These women were cute, or sexy, or alluringly intelligent. All of them were such handfuls that I have developed a fear of them, while still holding on to my appreciation of their physical beings. I can’t imagine having a relationship with a truly gorgeous woman. It must be Hell.

What it boils down to is that I appreciate beauty. I’m in awe of it. I hate to see it demolished, or taken for granted, or otherwise abused. But, there’s the click of what makes me what I am. I’m not really all that involved with beauty; I’m more of a voyeur, like many writers.

That’s what I started out to be, you know, a writer. O, I can do it. I can tell about everything. Writing’s a dead-end now, as I’m mostly only talking to myself. It’s a substitute for prayer, I suppose.

Have a good one, y’all…
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A rope leash
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Release

Post by A rope leash »

As for why I bother to post my rantings on the Elvis Costello fans' message board, I'd have to say that's a very complicated thing. Anyone who has been fascinated by Elvis Costello is a good buddy of mine right off, I don't care what they is otherwise. Heck, sometimes I feel just like committing a crime myself!

Whatever. It gets down to what a writer actually seeks. I seek beauty in my writing because I believe that beauty is not truth, but truth can be beautiful, and truth can be found or perhaps even created through the pursuit of beauty. Truth, however actual it may or may not be, can be made to seem more profound when it is encased in a beautiful structure.
It's a church, dude.

Music is very often a beautiful creation. For anyone who has seen the beauty in Elvis Costello, the "other side" of beauty must be obvious to them. So, in the end, if I am attempting to create beauty in my writing, I'm not going to show the work to my friends and relatives, nor is anyone going to pay me for it. Perhaps to prove to myself that composing has not been a waste of time, I post some of my stuff on the message board because I know that someone who is a little bit like me might read it.

It keeps me going, I guess. I'll get sick and angry here shortly, and bow out...
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mood swung
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Post by mood swung »

all will be well, young skywalker.



or maybe not.


or maybe things will be so-so.

life is a mystery.
Like me, the "g" is silent.
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bambooneedle
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Post by bambooneedle »

Yesterday I sat having my lunch at work on a concrete block in the shade of a half-completed two-storey unit. I was at ground level, surrounded by the formworkers' braced stands supporting ply on 3 x 4's, and I was glad I was sitting alone there... I found a good spot. For the moment, I was marvelling at the precision of how they cut and fit the ply above me and other timbers, enjoying the activity I could hear up above me - people walking over the metal mesh, talking, banging things and so on. Then they started to pour and use that vibrator thing. I could see a Nippy Crete truck outside feeding the concrete-pumping truck and thought I saw some hydraulic levers moving by themselves. Maybe they were just vibrating. Anyway, they were working closer and closer above me. I was pretty sure I wouldn't be splashed on by any of the concrete, seeping through. When right above me, my senses were impressed by it all. It was a bit dark and my eyes were relaxed. So little was coming through, I hardly bothered to move... I was on my second salad sandwich.

Rope, why do you care so much about things you can't control?
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A rope leash
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Fate

Post by A rope leash »

...because I might have to get out of the way!
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bambooneedle
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!D E A T H!

Post by bambooneedle »

Well if that wasn't my gayest post ever...


Ropus,

I know three people who will 'pray' for YOU, they believe in 'god'.

Never liked those words.

What else people already do but to try to become good at becoming ALL types of gods couldn't be estimated. Obviously it's not that hard to attempt to imagine the 'best' version, what a lot of folks do for the most part and in sick ways, though it's possible to recover innocence we know.


I read and think about death, it's been a pastime for years... a pretty good motivator. Imagining death like someone else does, let alone guessing at the nature of a particular one, must be nearly if not impossible to do, though we do realize that the fear of one goes away... you should be alright.

This is something like the logo I designed for a band I fronted (at least in the garage of my bro' in mischief Dave):

!DEATH!

They soon told us death was a taboo subject.

There's the laws of nature, of which we're part. Logically, while there's choice we can't be apart from fate. So you'll chose and it doesn't just 'happen' to you.

But to summarize and interpose a somewhat disordered sum of thoughts about these things, they would be much less thoughful than the essays Alan Watts and other good writers who have informed about them in their unique languages wrote.

I send best thoughts your way.
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A rope leash
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Fin

Post by A rope leash »

Nothing has ever died that the world could not do without.
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King Hoarse
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Post by King Hoarse »

But you have to admit a world without Johnny Cash is a poorer world than one with him. Maybe the world doesn't need everyone but I'm sure it wants quite a few.
What this world needs is more silly men.
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bambooneedle
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Post by bambooneedle »

What tired incoherent nonsense I've posted. Apologies.

Can't feel what ya feel here 'bro.
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bambooneedle
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Post by bambooneedle »

Well Rope, I guess we ain't gotten far...
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A rope leash
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Alive with pleasure!

Post by A rope leash »

Ah! Smoking monkeys! ...an audience I can relate to!

This link is for religious types. It is time to face the truth, and spread the word. The traitors must die!

http://911blogger.fileburst.com/videos/ ... ll_155.wmv

(Downloads 155MB .wmv movie)

O, and George Bush is gay.

http://piratenews.org/bushgaygate.html

Get over it.
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bambooneedle
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Post by bambooneedle »

Get over it?!

You're an ambiguous bastard.

What's all this fate crap? That you're scared of losing your job? That you think you won't wanna live after that? That you think "there are no second acts"? That you think those elite cocksuckers that run our governments are torturing you? What?

DEATH of a DOG... Fucking stupid melodrama.

Here you have people thinking you're feeling suicidal or something...



Awwww... you shoulda known when you saw daylight...

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A rope leash
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Well, at least it's something...

Post by A rope leash »

Nope, already lost my job. I've lost more jobs than you will ever have.

Suicidal? Yes! You care?

Afraid? No.

What my government does it does in my name. Think of me when my government is doing it to you.

I have more artistic achievement and will in my left middle finger than you have in your entire soul, Mr. Bamboo. Why do you want to want to fuck with the dog? Have you misinterpreted something again?

I'm asking the religious supporters of GWB to "get over" the fact that he is gay.

I can link to anything, it's not against the law, and in fact it is often requested.

This forum is the most boring thing on the planet.

It's just so empty without me.

While the dog may die, the person controlling him is likely to suffer on.

...g'dday, mate, and don't forget to fuck yourself...
Last edited by A rope leash on Wed May 04, 2005 10:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
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A rope leash
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Feels good!

Post by A rope leash »

Thank you for allowing me that release. You know I love you.
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A rope leash
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The story of the last time I came to life...

Post by A rope leash »

When Mood called my name. I hadn't even been lurking, but I went wide and linked nto the forum, and there she was telling me I needed to see old cars.

I was following the path of serendipity.

The time before that, So Lack emailed me.

Blair's gonna do it again, eh?

Just don't look.
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A rope leash
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Suicide disclaimer

Post by A rope leash »

I apologize to anyone who took my morose grumblings as an indication of actual self-loathing. As anyone can see, my ego is far to mighty to be defeated by my pity-soaking heart.

The person controlling a rope leash is not a suicide chump.

A rope leash lives and dies as he exists at the expense of his master's schedule. On to Kansas, I suppose...
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bambooneedle
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Post by bambooneedle »

Well fuck off to the Frank Zappa site or somethin'.
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