Equating a fish with a candle (unabridged)

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Jackson Monk
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Equating a fish with a candle (unabridged)

Postby Jackson Monk » Wed May 12, 2004 8:38 am

I have returned the unedited version to the board (due to popular demand). :lol:

I stumble through the washing line (a red stripey one)
with candle wax alighting on my shoes through haze of pregnant pauses
I eat the golden cassette that toys with the fairy dust that fell on my
T-rex albums (hee hee hee...the bells go (without explanation) through my head)

"Ahh...Joshua" i cried loudly whilst reading the News of the World.
The damp dew has brought on my lumbago and wrestled me to the ground like a hobbit wearing no underpants. (Toast, toast the smell of burning toast!).

Roland was masturbating furiously as I put on the kettle
The dirty couldron bubbled with anticpation as the seagull landed on the lawn (quicksteps are better than Gerald's hayfever)
I'm confounded by the smell of engine oil (and molasses)

Humble pie was baked in a tandoori oven and set aside for pudding (no starters).
I could hear the ringworm gnawing at my sphincter in terrapin alley.
"be gone...fiends" I yelled through a moment of Mango and Prawn type Cardomon.

And the simplicity left me breathless.....(peace now)
Last edited by Jackson Monk on Thu May 13, 2004 11:38 am, edited 2 times in total.
corruptio optimi pessima

selfmademug

Postby selfmademug » Wed May 12, 2004 8:50 am

ruh-roh..... :o :wink:

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verbal gymnastics
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Postby verbal gymnastics » Wed May 12, 2004 9:51 am

selfmademug wrote:ruh-roh.....


Is that you Scooby? :lol:
It’s such a shame you had to break the heart you could have counted on

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Otis Westinghouse
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Postby Otis Westinghouse » Wed May 12, 2004 2:01 pm

It has a certain je ne sais quoi. I think you have a future ahead of you, kiddo.
There's more to life than books, you know, but not much more

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lapinsjolis
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Postby lapinsjolis » Wed May 12, 2004 3:27 pm

Is ridicule really necessary? If you don't like his efforts you don't need to post or read the thread. I know this sort of thing would devastate me.
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."

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wehitandrun
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Postby wehitandrun » Wed May 12, 2004 10:34 pm

Eh, we're all strong boys here.
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clairequilty
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Postby clairequilty » Wed May 12, 2004 10:49 pm

I respect anybody that can string that many 2 syllable words together without quoting the Bible... or writing a Frank Zappa review.

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Postby clairequilty » Wed May 12, 2004 10:52 pm

I apologize for that last post. It didn't make any sense at all.




This post sponsored and paid for by "Abbey Road Naked", available in stores June 1st.

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Jackson Monk
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Postby Jackson Monk » Thu May 13, 2004 4:17 am

Lapinsjolis

Ridicule? The idea was comedy and I appreciate that it may not be everyone's cup of tea. I wasn't ridiculing anyone.

Perhaps it has more to do with your perception. I have posted similar threads in the past and long before WHAR (I assume that you think that is he i am ridiculing?) joined the board. I should also point out that I really enjoyed reading WHAR's work and that I have listened to his stuff many times. I found it funny - am I supposed to supress this? I have been very open in my views about his stuff and it has not all been negative.

WHAR's posts are some of my favourites on the board, even if he thinks I single him out. I enjoy his wild enthusiasm for almost everything. It is what youth is all about. We often wind each other up but I have never been as abusive to him as he has to me. Having said that, considering that WHAR has told me (and many others) to "drop dead", "go and be an asshole somewhere else" I have every right to have a go back. I won't even mention the most recent insult he made as it appalled several people far more than it did me. I think that you need to take in the facts and read a few of the older threads before you jump to conclusions.

Check out my old homage to Van Morrison: "Eating jelly Roll in Luxembourg (with Big Bill Brinsey)". It was a piss take, but it doesn't mean that I don't love Moondance, Astral Weeks or Enlightenment.

God, if we can't laugh at each other, we may as well just log off. :roll:
corruptio optimi pessima

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Gillibeanz
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Re: Equating a fish with a candle (unabridged)

Postby Gillibeanz » Thu May 13, 2004 4:34 am

Jackson Monk wrote:I could hear the ringworm gnawing at my sphincter in terrapin alley.


JACKSON: You crack me up - it's all bloody brilliant!!! :lol: Do some more!
COME ON YOU SPURS!!

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lapinsjolis
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Postby lapinsjolis » Thu May 13, 2004 4:36 am

I'm sorry if you feel I've wronged you Jackson Monk. In my case you may be right about 'logging off'. I did like this line:"The damp dew has brought on my lumbago and wrestled me to the ground like a hobbit wearing no underpants." I certainly don't want to spoil the fun, so I will try to bow out gracefully.
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."

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Jackson Monk
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Postby Jackson Monk » Thu May 13, 2004 4:44 am

Lapins...Lapins...everything you post is graceful.

Having you bow out is the last thing that I would want to see. You are a breath of fresh air on this board and I know of nobody who would like to see you go. :(

I am sorry if I offended you and I would rather delete the whole silly ditty from the board, rather than see you absent. Hence, this is waht I am going to do.
corruptio optimi pessima

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Jackson Monk
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Postby Jackson Monk » Thu May 13, 2004 4:50 am

Gilli

are you being sarcastic?

:lol:
corruptio optimi pessima

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wehitandrun
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Postby wehitandrun » Thu May 13, 2004 8:01 am

Jackson, Jackson.

In your mind, your posts to me may not be as insulting. But, to me, they are... and they call for the responces they were given.

Don't hold posts from other threads above my head to justify yourself.
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PlaythingOrPet
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Postby PlaythingOrPet » Thu May 13, 2004 8:07 am

Jacks/Laps, is this serious, or some sort of weird mating dance? Throw me a bone here.

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Gillibeanz
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Postby Gillibeanz » Thu May 13, 2004 8:27 am

JACKSON: Nope - no sarcasam here im deadly serious - I thought it was brilliant! Dont wipe it off the board its too good - it made me laugh! Write some more please, you have a real talent with words that conjure up some awesome pictures!
COME ON YOU SPURS!!

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Jackson Monk
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Postby Jackson Monk » Thu May 13, 2004 8:53 am

wehitandrun wrote:Jackson, Jackson.

In your mind, your posts to me may not be as insulting. But, to me, they are... and they call for the responces they were given.

Don't hold posts from other threads above my head to justify yourself.


Oh no...I am certainly not trying to justify myself. You had it coming....and a lot more besides :twisted:
corruptio optimi pessima

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Jackson Monk
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Postby Jackson Monk » Thu May 13, 2004 8:58 am

Gills

Well that is very kind of you. Apparently I hurt WHAR's feelings though. I'll see if I can come up with something a little more anonymous next time. :D

WHAR....you need to remember that it is better to have your work insulted (tho it wasn'tr meant to be an insult) than to have it ignored. Look at all the free publicity you've had!
corruptio optimi pessima

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gadfly
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Postby gadfly » Thu May 13, 2004 9:13 am

wehitandrun wrote:In your mind, your posts to me may not be as insulting. But, to me, they are... and they call for the responces they were given.



Saying that you've pissed in someone's mum's mouth and that she enjoyed it is never called for.
just like a million more all over the world

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verbal gymnastics
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Postby verbal gymnastics » Thu May 13, 2004 9:39 am

Jackson - this is no longer unabridged!
It’s such a shame you had to break the heart you could have counted on

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wehitandrun
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Postby wehitandrun » Thu May 13, 2004 11:12 am

I'm not offended at all Jackson by this post. I was referring to your other jabs that were a bit more obvious.

Gadfly, sod off. You don't like what I wrote? Don't read it then.
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Jackson Monk
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Postby Jackson Monk » Sat May 15, 2004 12:34 am

wehitandrun wrote:Gadfly, sod off. You don't like what I wrote? Don't read it then.


In this line lies your problem WHAR....you will find a lot less hostility if you show a little more humility...
corruptio optimi pessima

seanpointblank
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Postby seanpointblank » Sat May 15, 2004 1:16 am

And how can you not read something because you read it and didn't like it?

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bambooneedle
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Postby bambooneedle » Sat May 15, 2004 2:46 am

First you glance peripherally to see if it seems at least mildly likeable. If it's not then you won't read it.

seanpointblank
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Postby seanpointblank » Sat May 15, 2004 4:12 am

I didn't read your post, I just saw the use of two, yes, count them, two apostrophes out of the corner of my eye and ruled your post ineligible for further study. Sorry, good friend!


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