Elvis's worst pun

Pretty self-explanatory
Poor Deportee
Posts: 671
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 7:30 pm
Location: Chocolate Town

Elvis's worst pun

Post by Poor Deportee »

That thread on 'Armed Forces' got me thinking about 'Chemistry Class'...which led me to the conclusion that 'are you ready for the final solution?!?' must be Elvis's most tasteless and indefensible pun.

Other contenders for Worst Elvis Costello Pun? Lay 'em on me. :twisted:
When man has destroyed what he thinks he owns
I hope no living thing cries over his bones
User avatar
King Hoarse
Posts: 1450
Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2004 11:32 pm
Location: Malmö, Sweden

Post by King Hoarse »

I don't know about the worst pun but the pork sword reference in I Hope You're Happy Now always makes me cringe. I'm even cringing now.

(btw Final Solution is an amazing Pere Ubu single)
What this world needs is more silly men.
User avatar
Who Shot Sam?
Posts: 7097
Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2003 5:05 pm
Location: Somewhere in the distance
Contact:

Post by Who Shot Sam? »

The "step on the brakes to get out of her clutches" bit in "New Amsterdam" is a bit over-the-top. But I still love the song and was very happy when he played it a few years ago at the Beacon.
Mother, Moose-Hunter, Maverick
User avatar
wardo68
Posts: 854
Joined: Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:21 am
Location: southwest of Boston
Contact:

Post by wardo68 »

Perhaps technically these aren't puns so much as plays-on-words, but for me it's a tie between "you lack lust, you're so lackluster" and "now there's newsprint all over your face, well maybe that's why I can read you like a book".

If you're looking for the line that makes me cringe, the winner is "I wish you luck with a capital F".
johnfoyle
Posts: 14852
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:37 pm
Location: Dublin , Ireland

Post by johnfoyle »

The Imposter

He's got double vision
When you want him double jointed


B Movie


You can't stand it when I throw punch lines you can feel
User avatar
pophead2k
Posts: 2403
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2003 3:49 pm
Location: Bull City y'all

Post by pophead2k »

[quote="johnfoyle"]The Imposter

He's got double vision
When you want him double jointed


I hear you, but this song is so damn good, I forgive any and every lyrical transgression. Does anyone else know how much this song ROCKS?
User avatar
Fishfinger king
Posts: 620
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:41 am
Location: On the border

Post by Fishfinger king »

Undoubtedly it rocks.
I always liked the puns - they always seemed tongue in cheek and I'm rather sad he doesn't do them anymore.
"More like a hand job than a hand jive" anyone?
Can't you see I'm trying to change this water to wine
Poor Deportee
Posts: 671
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 7:30 pm
Location: Chocolate Town

Post by Poor Deportee »

If I'm gonna go down/
You're gonna come with me

is another rather crass one, though not nearly as intolerable as punning on the Final Solution.

Ya know, I never spotted the 'brakes/clutches' pun in New Amsterdam (one of my faves). Man! That is B-A-D. :lol:

Always loved the wordplay, though, and it's true, he seems to be done with it...which comes from laying off the speed, I'd hazard.
When man has destroyed what he thinks he owns
I hope no living thing cries over his bones
johnfoyle
Posts: 14852
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:37 pm
Location: Dublin , Ireland

Post by johnfoyle »

Not a pun , but still a fave -

I Hope You're Happy Now

But you make him sound like frozen food, his love will last forever
Neil.
Posts: 1576
Joined: Mon Jun 13, 2005 6:14 am
Location: London

Post by Neil. »

Now you've given your performance
Though the matinee was idle (idol)
And you find out that a wave of her right hand could seem so tidal

However, I gotto say I love "You lack lust - you're so lacklustre" is a great gag! No problems with that one at all!
User avatar
bambooneedle
Posts: 4533
Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2003 4:02 pm
Location: a few thousand miles south east of Zanzibar

Post by bambooneedle »

"I don't know if you are loving somebody,
I only know it isn't mine"
User avatar
anjabro
Posts: 121
Joined: Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:14 am
Contact:

Post by anjabro »

she's my soft touch typewriter,
And I'm the great dictator...
User avatar
double dutchess
Posts: 146
Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2003 11:01 am
Location: New York

Post by double dutchess »

It was an idea that he dandled on his knee
and nursed it like his coffee cup

Again, not a pun, but hardly an example of his best word play. I adore that song, but those two lines aren't up to par.
I wasn't born the sharpest thorn
alexv
Posts: 772
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2003 2:32 pm
Location: USA

Post by alexv »

The riches are overwhelming:

My favorite bad one is: But they keep you hanging on/until you're well hung
User avatar
ahawkman
Posts: 82
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 11:49 pm
Location: San Diego,CA

Post by ahawkman »

I always thought this was rather crass, though the song is otherwise great.
Sometimes I think that love is just a tumor
You've got to cut it out
SteveL
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2006 1:48 am

Post by SteveL »

Elvis once (Face interview 1983 that can be found here http://www.elviscostello.info/articles/d-g/fa8308a.html ) gave the following when asked a question about the wordplay in his lyrics:-
Q: Do you find yourself having to resist the urge to make a pun in your lyrics?

A: Yeah, they do get a bit irritating. ...... There are certain lines when I look back . . . "A wave of her hand could be so tidal." It's just thrown away in the middle of one of the songs on "Armed Forces". It's a really terrible pun! There's other ones that people criticise - like the one in "Possession" that goes "You lack lust/You're so lacklustre." What's wrong with that? It makes sense. It makes a point."
Around the same time I remember a radio interview where Elvis gave the same lyric from Busy Bodies when asked about his least favourite line. He also said that Bruce always gave him a ribbing about that one....
manoutoftime
Posts: 43
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 7:24 am

Post by manoutoftime »

'Shes got eyes like saucers you know shes a dish' - Big Sisters Clothes
User avatar
miss buenos aires
Posts: 2055
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2003 7:15 am
Location: jcnj
Contact:

Post by miss buenos aires »

I always thought that line from "The Imposter" went:
He's got double vision
Wouldn't want him double-jointed

And I always liked it. I like most of the puns in this thread, actually, especially the brakes/clutches one, but then again, I like puns, which I think is incurable. I could do without most of "TKO (Boxing Day)"; all that slum/slumber numb/number nonsense. One thing has nothing to do with the other!
Goody2Shoes
Posts: 1301
Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2003 12:24 pm
Location: bouncing over a white cloud

Post by Goody2Shoes »

I like puns, too, and yeah, it's probably incurable. I think they are a sign of a sharp intellect, and that people who groan at puns are people who wish they had thought of it themselves.

Not a pun, but I like the "Business and Commerce/Gettin' Some" theme:

Now you're ready for the merger
With the company you're part of
And you do the dirty business
With your latest sleeping partner
It's a radiation vibe I'm groovin' on
User avatar
VonOfterdingen
Posts: 462
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2004 3:28 pm
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark

Post by VonOfterdingen »

My case is closed my case is packed

But i really think that brakes/clutches is great!
I'm not buying my share of souvenirs
User avatar
Mr. Average
Posts: 2031
Joined: Sat Jun 28, 2003 12:22 pm
Location: Orange County, Californication

Post by Mr. Average »

"Indoor fireworks
Can still burn your fingers
Indoor fireworks"
"The smarter mysteries are hidden in the light" - Jean Giono (1895-1970)
User avatar
noiseradio
Posts: 2295
Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2003 12:04 pm
Location: Dallas, TX
Contact:

Post by noiseradio »

Yeah, I pretty much like all these puns. I'm having trouble thinking of a groaner.
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
--William Shakespeare
Turquoise Pajamas Pt Deux
Posts: 189
Joined: Thu Dec 08, 2005 11:32 pm

Post by Turquoise Pajamas Pt Deux »

I apologize for straying slightly off-topic here, but does anyone else think Elvis sounds like he's saying "A million farts go racing through my mind..." in Good Year For The Roses? Not that that would make a very good lyric of course... :P
johnfoyle
Posts: 14852
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:37 pm
Location: Dublin , Ireland

Post by johnfoyle »

I apologize for straying slightly off-topic here, but does anyone else think Elvis sounds like he's saying
I join you by saying that until I saw the printed lyric I always thought a line in Bedlam

Wailing echoes down the corridors

was

Throw your knickers down the corridor
User avatar
Mr. Average
Posts: 2031
Joined: Sat Jun 28, 2003 12:22 pm
Location: Orange County, Californication

Post by Mr. Average »

"So in this almost empty gin palace
Through a two-way looking glass
You see your Alice"


and

"There's a girl in this dress
There's always a girl in distress
She's just a shabby doll"
"The smarter mysteries are hidden in the light" - Jean Giono (1895-1970)
Post Reply